just replied to about 5 ppl..

a key we did when we were bored..just fuck n around..

armd - this
zeus - bold


“Come here sonny..I need u to wipe my ass……NOW!..”

Takin statements from patients, wit feces stagnant and waitin..
Misplacements of payments keep these old timers fragrant..
Reakin from leakage of diapers all soggy and seem less..
The seepage increases as they let loose and just shoot piss..

“Hey sweet buns..i dropped my pencil..could u get it please?..”

Old ladies nagin me, I try to pass by, got hands smackin my ass cheeks..
These wrinkled freaks, all want a piece, tell n jimmy, they my bride to be..
Playin hide and seek, gotta trick the grandmas into letin me leave..
I still struggle to pee, 1 of em got hold, and my lil man had to tussle to breath..


They're totally useless, so abuse is the way Zeus is.
Steal their pills, get high, gonna die anyway, so how u wanna do this?
Move bitch!! You in my way with that walker, You about to need a doctor.
Don't let 'em get caught with a cane, Cause I'll use it when I drop her.
Pop~her a fist... gonna need dentures for you dentures when I dent em.
Bent em'... Health care's too expensive, straight to heaven's where I sent them.
Respect em, fuck that, I don't respect no one, you know me, this is Zeus son.
Chase'n em for fun, walk'n around with oxygen tanks, so u know they can't run.
Dismember they're fragile bones, tear their hair to diffuse this temper
Go ahead, call the cops. When I push you down the stairs... You won't even remember.

Takin statements from patients, wit feces stagnant and waitin..
Misplacements of payments keep these old timers fragrant..

Started out funny, nice flow..Content was straight..

Reakin from leakage of diapers all soggy and seem less..
The seepage increases as they let loose and just shoot piss..

Shoot piss<--Fucked the flow up a bit..But it was still funny..Maybe alot more funny just cuz u fucked the flow up and "shoot" was unexpected due to keeping the flow consistent in the previous lines..

“Hey sweet buns..i dropped my pencil..could u get it please?..”

Old ladies nagin me, I try to pass by, got hands smackin my ass cheeks..
These wrinkled freaks, all want a piece, tell n jimmy, they my bride to be..

Eh..Boring..

Playin hide and seek, gotta trick the grandmas into letin me leave..
I still struggle to pee, 1 of em got hold, and my lil man had to tussle to breath..

Lol..Kind of funny..


They're totally useless, so abuse is the way Zeus is.
Steal their pills, get high, gonna die anyway, so how u wanna do this?

Stretched flow with the last rhyme stanza forced "How u wanna do this?"..Turned me away..Should have kept something of meaning in thereinstead of ending with an abrupt thought..


Move bitch!! You in my way with that walker, You about to need a doctor.
Don't let 'em get caught with a cane, Cause I'll use it when I drop her.

lol...That's pretty funny..Flow's shitty on text but alloud it was quite alright..


Pop~her a fist... gonna need dentures for you dentures when I dent em.
Bent em'... Health care's too expensive, straight to heaven's where I sent them.

Bleh~/////No...Not good..

Respect em, fuck that, I don't respect no one, you know me, this is Zeus son.
Chase'n em for fun, walk'n around with oxygen tanks, so u know they can't run.

First line's not to my liking..But LOLOL @ The second line..


Dismember they're fragile bones, tear their hair to diffuse this temper
Go ahead, call the cops. When I push you down the stairs... You won't even remember.

Ok ending..

Overall i felt this woud have been alot funnier if yall was more lyrically indepth/in tune with word placement ..But it was worth he read..Found some of it humorous and for that i liked it..


Stay up, 1ne

definately creatve...I dont think anyones
done anything like this...some parts were
funny and some were boring..

somewhat like a sage francis and apathy freestyle where
theyre just having fun and fucking up as well...but considered
a real freestyle because with writtens theyre both ill

against the grain...the norm gangsta bust my gun shit
hip hop having fun with words...not bad...

like to see something for real...

peace

thanks for the replies..dont take this post real serious ppl..we were bored..

up n..

who could it be?..

me again..

this was a pretty creative piece. Shit was pretty funny, liked the concept. Of course it wouldv'e been better if it had better vocabulary but it was still enjoyable to read. Good shit.

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

funny but come on dude i myself like to go down on old wrinkle pussy you really don't know what ya missing till you slide up in some old stank gangrene pussy

up n this for absolutely no reason..