Things Work Out...

Things Work Out, Even Though Most Fails...
My Life Speeds Like A Train, But Never Derails...
I Can Tell You My Life’s Horrors In gruesome Details...
I’m Only 8stone, But My Minds Capacity Is Off The Scales...
Keep Failing On Nails, Piercing Through My Ability...
I Just Feel, Like My Talent Is Just A Utility...

Sometimes I Feel Just So Enclosed, Why The Fuck, Is My Lyrics Just Deposed...

Man, Sometimes I Just Feel, So Debased...
Having To Deal With All The Problems, I’m Faced...
Constantly, Throwing My Papers Away For Waste...
Replaced My Style, Givin’ It A New Taste...

Sometimes I Feel Just So Enclosed, Why The Fuck, Are My Lyrics Just Deposed, Coming Out – Out Of Nothing, But At Least In My Songs – I’m Something... x2


I Always Thought, I’d Make Something of My Life...
I Kept Telling Myself “I’ll Make It” – I Lied...
NO Matter How Hard I Tried, I was On A Slope...
Destined For Failure, Destined To Slide...
O.k., All Joking Aside, I Attempted To talk To God...
But My Access, Was So Tragically Denied...
If My Two Personalities Were To Collide, How Would I Cope...
But I Keep Hanging On To That Last Thread Of Hope...
So Thin, As Things get Worse, So Close Till I’m In A Hearse...
I Must’ve Inherited A Failures Curse, I’m Living Everything In reverse...

Sometimes I Feel Just So Enclosed, Why The Fuck, Are My Lyrics Just Deposed, Coming Out – Out Of Nothing, But At Least In My Songs – I’m Something... x2

Things Work, If You Follow You Heart...
Things Don’t Always Work From The Start...
But If You Talk To God, Constantly Pray,
You’ll never Run Outta Things, Relationally To Say...
Never Mind Gangsta’s, Bitches n’ Guns...
Just Think About, How Fast Your Life Turns...
Normally Spinning Outta Control, But For You –
And Your Soul, Will Burn IN Hell, Like Coal...
As Things get Worse, So Close Till I’m In A Hearse...
I Must’ve Inherited A Failures Curse, I’m Living Everything In reverse...

Sometimes I Feel Just So Enclosed, Why The Fuck, Are My Lyrics Just Deposed, Coming Out – Out Of Nothing, But At Least In My Songs – I’m Something... x4

Not bad man I feel alot of emotion comin from that one......we all been there 4real......

uppin for some real responses...

that is a true perception of a writter the struggle inner thoughts emotions everything cam right here i liked that

Keep Failing On Nails, Piercing Through My Ability...
I Just Feel, Like My Talent Is Just A Utility...

Sometimes I Feel Just So Enclosed, Why The Fuck, Is My Lyrics Just Deposed...

Man, Sometimes I Just Feel, So Debased...
Having To Deal With All The Problems, I’m Faced...
Constantly, Throwing My Papers Away For Waste...
Replaced My Style, Givin’ It A New Taste...

that was real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.k., All Joking Aside, I Attempted To talk To God...
But My Access, Was So Tragically Denied...

that fucked with my head i felt that way many of times

that was a great drop...the feeling we've all shared an that makes it such a good peice cuz its real 8/10 man thats tight shit peace

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

thanx for the replies,

uppin'

Very good organization in this song, Very hot topic, Liked the chorus alot...Good drop

^^LOL,

Damn nice drop dawg....., fo real.....nice structure,...nice flow......good concept, emotion's ....real nice thing to read.....

8/10

__________________
Fuck you

That's some deep shit right there, scrap. Thats something real to bring to the board. Depressing as hell, makes a nigga wanna cry and shit and starting hugging strangers on the block but it's all good. You keep it up and neva mind the haters

Shiznit's Thoughts

TO be honest with you i really like this a lot. I mean no joke, while i was reading it. I felt like being a part of the whole piece.

VOCABULARY/WORDPLAY

>Youve used mostly sincere enough terminology reflecting the whole piece. Multis spread out here and there helping it came together. It was brilliant. The words cooperated very well in the structure of every line.
The fairness of reconstructive ability to execute most of the words with determination and directly affects detachment to each verse, meaning, each word had a very unique expression depending on how you revived and supported the idea.
> Meaningful yet subtle exaggeration of metas and combination of speeches.

FLOW/RHymeScheme

> Arrangement of the words from every verse fitted the smooth response on how to express them out loud. Syllabication can be helpful in this type of writing but yet in this case, not necessarilly needed. The attachment of emotions and reliable
connection aspired the very inner scheme detailed as they are spoken.


CONTENT

>>Such outstanding emotions covered all throughout. Love the fact that it was written in such an inspirational way. Would just make me think of how things cant always work out the way we want them to be but there are other alternative hangin every try on working them out. Its like there's a different plan for them.

OVERALL

>>affectionately beautiful. Worth the time reading.

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

^Thanx Shiz, Appreciate The Critque Response.^

I hear that shit, fuck man I know what its like to be down and out. Shit right now Im hitting rock bottom for about the 3rd time in my life too. That shit you wrote could probably help a lot of people in your situation get through it without resorting to some dumb shit like i did just to get by. Shit dude, my mom just read it and she likes it and she listens to fuckin country music. Peace.