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Old 08-24-03, 06:40 PM   #1
MRsHARKie
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Ripping

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WELL ITS 2003 AND SHIT AINT CHANGING , FOOLS ARE STILL GANG BANGING, HANGING AND STEADY SLANGING MY BEATS ARE BANGING//
AND PLAYER HATERS RUNNING ME DOWN LIKE A TOP NOTCH THEY WANT TO SEE ME FALL BUT IM STANDING TALL WITH MY GLOCK COCKED//
THINK IT OVER IF YOU EVER WANNA BE TESTIN IM A TYPE A PERSON THAT WOULD MAKE YOU COUGH UP YOUR LARGE INTISTINE//
YA MAKING ME LAUGH YA WERE IN JAIL SPORTING KNEE PADS ENTERING THE CLUB WITH A FREE PASS
SO STEP WITH PRECAUTION I RIP THE MICS I TOUCH YA STICK TO PLAYING WHAT YA KNOW BEST THE DOUBLE TOUCH BOUCH
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Old 08-24-03, 07:47 PM   #2
/:Ayura:\
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got madd flow, and it peiced togther nicely but it was still pretty lame. u talkin gansta, dont do dat
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Old 08-24-03, 07:52 PM   #3
Tuned Root
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Change the ending syllables, because that affects your flow overall.. "-ing" ending words are the worst to go off on in text, at least, because it murders the whole essense of a "flow" or "rhyme scheme" for that matter. Your vocabulary needs to be improved a lot, as well as your multis, because your multis were quite simplistic and not at all caught my eye in this verse. Other than that, it was quite good, would've been better if your structued format was a little more clean cut, as well as the caplocks being off so the reader is able to see the words a bit better, then straining his/her eyes just try reading one word, feel me? Believe in yourself and that of your word, elevate.

Return The Favor..
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Old 09-06-03, 03:34 PM   #4
MRsHARKie
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COOL ILL TAKE IN THOSE TIPS. IF NOT GANGSTA WHAT YOU RECOMMENDING.
ITS THE SHARKS.
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Old 09-06-03, 04:00 PM   #5
Provoked Images
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From: Tha heart of tha devil
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forget gangstas and do real life events, "gangstas" are dead, do tha downs of a "thug life" or sumtin...
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