Whispers......Demonic......Unfounded.....Drowned
Elate......Simplistical......hearts.....melancholy

Quietly These motions slurr,
trickle,
towards the horizon in blur.
Tantalising with the omni-crome curve,
and forth-lifting beyond the 1st verve,
never moved, stirred or wound up.
place around the grove for a round cut,
I'm a slag, a slut for word's
and when givin meaning the uproar occurs...

...And silently moving, like a snake in the grass
Scuttle and scramble over the place of last,
Feeling like a blast from the past,
an opposite crest shifts,
a puddle in the centre of the room bubbles and lifts
personified in the glaze a mystified rabble,
superficial in the haze they start to babble.

Unravelled a sweet sugar gains momenteum,
Cained, bound and left........
all i smell is the reminants of Meth.

well in ya drunken composition i liked the first stanza...the rest eluded me from ya poem all together...and really was the "drunken" or binged composition.....the first good...second...bad!


elevate...wit ya vocab n wordplay


igido

__________________
freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S

^Cheers,
maybe varentao has the mind to get it.
And madd, if i was going for vocab and wordplay, you know it.
But thanx for the feed....

Pz.

Word, word, word, damn, word.

This piece i dig.

I got out of it the love for words and writing you have. How it is a drug to you (alcohol). You treat it like one might treat a 30 year old bottle of fine brandy (er, my knowledge of alcohol is hazy).

Hard to explain. But here goes. First of all, what does omni-crome mean?!

The first part about how the creative process begins. It slowly comes, bit by bit, into what is now still a blur. Still not known what it will become.

You are bringing it past energy. i.e. It is not a process that is furious in the classical sense. Not zealous in the least. It is smooth, at a steady pace, wise...you (and it) cannot be disturbed. It is above so much.

The last two lines of the first stanza to me, show how you treat the words. You want to be with so many of them. Want to be intimate with each one, give special treatment. And when the meaning begins to formulate...i dunno. Maybe you're trying to explain when the words meet the meaning it creates this conflict of emotions and thoughts. Or what others do in reaction to it.

And to the second. It's getting into it's stride. You are now moving in a manner which is hard to stop. The 'terrain' you move upon does little to change this. Like a snake. The scuttling and scrambling being the chopping and changing of words you've already written. Perfecting the piece. It's coming into shape. The puddle, to me, signifies the mass shape it has taken. The bubble the actual finished piece of the puddle (so not all the puddle turns into a bubble). Or maybe the whole puddle.

The people at first sight love it. But once they try to comprehend, or read into it. It becomes more of a haze, and they begin to babble (a bit like me!). Or as they try to tell you what they think of the piece, or the meaning. They begin to babble because it's so hard to depict. But the mystified part maybe indicates that they are just that shallow. That 'blah!'. This meaning is cemented with the next line which tells of them being superficial, or at least becoming superficial in the haze of the piece. And then they babble...not digging deep but remaining on the surface of the piece. Or digging deep, but so mystified and in awe, they just babble about nothing...

The last part describes the piece all finished. Some people are beginning to get it. It's gaining momentum. Or maybe the surface of it is gaining momentum. The sweet sugar thing maybe indicates that. You know, like 'candy pop', where it tastes sweet, gives you a quick buzz in energy and mind, but where's the substance?!.

Caned? I dunno. What first comes to mind is the sugar cane plants. It is like that. It is up rooted, bound together with others, and left to flourish/give pleasure. I got a feeling of self satisfaction from this too. But it could also mean it is up rooted, bound together with trash pieces and left. left to rot, fall into the abyss of crap or something. Or maybe the piece is caned (as in beat, like someone would cane your ass...you know, people have brutalised the piece, missing the point), then bound into an enigma, set by the others (so people look at it from one way only, it cannot move from that perception) and left to rot or what not.

Last line? Well maybe once again it goes back to the self satisfaction. Meth being a kind of drug that stimulate the mind. Though it also supresss the appetite system. So it could also be something to do with it putting you off. Losing your appetite temporarily for writing and what not. Or maybe this bit of leftover stimulating smell you get from it being written is all that is left of this piece that means so much to you, but was brutalised...

This piece was hard to understand in detail. Some lines i didn't get. But the overall meaning i think i got. Or at the least, a personal meaning. You're addicted to words, putting them together into poetic form. Absorbing what's around you.

Then again, maybe it's just about you getting that feeling. Maybe depressed. And this was you gong on the binge. And/or describing it. Hmmm, more likely...


Well somewhere in there is the meaning i got out. An interesting piece for sure. Especially like how you started it off with those words. Set the whole piece out. Got an atmosphere going. And relates to the piece well.

Well that's enough from me. I've been typing a lot. A whole lot.

..resp...

I was gonna reply to this sooner, but I figured I'd let varentao have a go.

Then he pretty muched summed it up so...

...ditto.

=\

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

^You whore. Though i did just type away. Didn't realise it was so long. Still, whore!

tight piece,keep elevatin.peace.