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Old 08-31-03, 11:38 PM   #1
Chrit
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Posts: 4,862
From: Elevated beyond Description
Chrit's return to open mic... What?...

IP:

Aight look:
This was a little keystyle...
So keep it in mind..


Went from pick-ups to split-ups and back again all with a smile/
Somehow erased the hurt and trials and made it all worthwhile/
Happy now... Gone are the days of unbearable pain and strife/
Picture of perfection it seems like Chrit found the prototype/


Was it that bad a student?... Cause from day one my game failed me/
A train of lines to advance my chance but a simple glance straight derailed me/
These feelings should be a fallacy, but shes the projection of every fantasy/
Outta my league... Searching for ways to justify her fascination in me/
Made the decision... Time to pursue but the game's still in a rut/
Its like Chrit's at a loss for words... and all I've found is "What?..."/
Feelings grow... but most of all the disappointment in myself/
It's like Chrit's life's a library with all my words still on the shelf/
The shit's excruitiating but need to somehow grin and bear it/
Just squash this thought and bide my time until I can declare it/

Went from pick-ups to split-ups and back again all with a smile/
Somehow erased the hurt and trials and made it all worthwhile/
Happy now... Gone are the days of unbearable pain and strife/
Picture of perfection it seems like Chrit found the prototype/


Revelation time... maybe I should just drop the game and come sincere/
But full of fear... That my heart wont express what she wants to hear/
Time finally came... was able to talk, advanced past pleasantries/
And to Chrit's amazement it turned out this girl was feelin me/
Foot in the door... But who knows what she could possibly have in store/
But Chrit's mind is made up like Joe "Cause I dont wanna be a playa no more"/
Ironic... aint it?... I coulda have had her from the start/
But now in this war of love I'm content stationed in her heart/

Went from pick-ups to split-ups and back again all with a smile/
Somehow erased the hurt and trials and made it all worthwhile/
Happy now... Gone are the days of unbearable pain and strife/
Picture of perfection it seems like Chrit found the prototype/


Went from pick-ups to split-ups and back again all with a smile/
Somehow erased the hurt and trials and made it all worthwhile/
Happy now... Gone are the days of unbearable pain and strife/
Picture of perfection it seems like Chrit found the prototype/
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Old 09-01-03, 12:34 AM   #2
Slik
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Was it that bad a student?... Cause from day one my game failed me/
A train of lines to advance my chance but a simple glance straight derailed me/


Well glad to see your return of open mics....and this peice was staright heat...

FLow was sick..Really got me into it...Just kept me reading and thats really important on any rap. Vocab was nice...so were the multis.....
Keep spittin....
I also like the little chorus...Very nice usage of multis...Nice job..
Keep spittin

Please check outmine...Thanks

Overall-9/10
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Old 09-01-03, 02:56 AM   #3
Chrit
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From: Elevated beyond Description
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thanks....

been awhile since I've written
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Old 09-01-03, 02:04 PM   #4
Chrit
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From: Elevated beyond Description
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and this...
is officially...
being slept...
upon...
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Old 09-01-03, 02:11 PM   #5
Aisle Phive
AKA Cereal Shelf
 
Posts: 1,852
From: New Jersey
IP:

i really felt this, had a nice flow and a nice vocab, and u managed to keep this on subject nicely as well, you had 2-3 lines that messed up parts of the flow, other than that the written was nice....

can u give me feedback and my collab wit syntext?
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Old 09-01-03, 03:37 PM   #6
Provoked Images
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From: Tha heart of tha devil
IP:

Went from pick-ups to split-ups and back again all with a smile/
Somehow erased the hurt and trials and made it all worthwhile/
Happy now... Gone are the days of unbearable pain and strife/
Picture of perfection it seems like Chrit found the prototype/

nice "chorus" ^^, didn't match tha flow i don't think but it was good anyway....

as for tha flow itself, that was nice, u got a good chance of gettin in tha industry...

keep it up...
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Old 09-01-03, 06:00 PM   #7
Chrit
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From: Elevated beyond Description
IP:

^^^
thanks
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Old 09-01-03, 06:01 PM   #8
pot1ent
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Yeah some deep lines...seemed a good return back

flow blah blah etc all included...made it a good read

o
N
e
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Old 09-01-03, 06:07 PM   #9
Tsar Casm
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hot shit.......good come back...

"Foot in the door... But who knows what she could possibly have in store/
But Chrit's mind is made up like Joe "Cause I dont wanna be a playa no more"/"

^^ had truble figurin it out cuz i got joe budden stuck in my head..but i get it now...hot shit

one question tho...where have u been?
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Old 09-01-03, 06:09 PM   #10
Chrit
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From: Elevated beyond Description
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Jail....
yep...
but I'm back...
for good....
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Old 09-01-03, 07:39 PM   #11
De-FineRap
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^^ Jail? Damn what you do? lol....

**sorry to freepost**
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Old 09-01-03, 07:40 PM   #12
De-FineRap
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Oh shit....lol forgot to put my 2 cents in....

I really enjoyed this peice...
Yo flow was off the chain dawg....
Sucks that you was gone...Cuz this was sick....
Spit some mo.....cant wait to see more...

Your Grade- 8/10
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Old 09-01-03, 08:00 PM   #13
Chrit
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From: Elevated beyond Description
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4 assualt charges...
yep...
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Old 09-01-03, 08:14 PM   #14
BiZzUrK
Banned AKA Dante
 
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From: ILL-I-NOIS
IP:

Was it that bad a student?... Cause from day one my game failed me/
A train of lines to advance my chance but a simple glance straight derailed me/
These feelings should be a fallacy, but shes the projection of every fantasy/
Outta my league... Searching for ways to justify her fascination in me/
Made the decision... Time to pursue but the game's still in a rut/
Its like Chrit's at a loss for words... and all I've found is "What?..."/

I was really feeling these first 4 lines, I could undastand what ya was go'n through there, and I was actaully laughing out loud with that last one there
tight piece overall, I was feel'n tha flo and the subject matter, nice return Chrit,
use da pen to stay out da pen<----------------(dope)
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Old 09-01-03, 08:18 PM   #15
H4iKU
BANNED: Cheater
 
Posts: 599
From: ::The Regime::
IP:

Revelation time... maybe I should just drop the game and come sincere/
But full of fear... That my heart wont express what she wants to hear/



For some reason. im the kinda guy that thinks why have a girlfriend when u can have 5. i hate to be locked down and have to focus on just one when the juice is just in me. nice open mic chrit. i think my situation is what made me fill it the most. but it was felt...period
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