Hearing once again your never-ending throughless cries
Yet another part of my fatherly love for you dies.
Watch it slip away, as you throw another piece of mockery in my face
Showing me your respect as your fist puts me in my place.
Your testing me only pushed me further from you
The lessons that you taught me... I've learned they were never true.
As I run away, I grant you my memories and leave you with the guilt
Why should I feel sorry if it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built?
The only thing that's left in my emotionally exhausted body
is a revengeful wreck, formely known as a somebody.


- To my dad who was never there when I really needed me and showed me nothing but disrespect -

^^I know it's short, but I held so much anger inside that I had to write something down
any comments are more than welcome

1 LoVe

umm i can feel that shit but it was a little too simple and i didnt feel the pain but the subject is on point and i can tell ur head is there just pour more into it, 1luv.

Hearing once again your never-ending throughless cries
Yet another part of my fatherly love for you dies.

^^perfekt for me, i fuckin HATE my father, he gave me away AFTER beatin me, if i see him i swear...

tha poem itself wasn't deep enough, a thing i would've done different was either make it sadder or darker, either way, jus hit ur head on a cloud, naomean?...

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i agree with the fact that this lacked imagery...........however i can feel the repressed rage in it...........almost as if you let just enough spill out to keep your sanity.................lots of underlying emotion because of this you can understand the simplicity of it.............not a bad drop.......................1

I agree with profiit... I feel that you are still suffering inside yourself for this so only tapped into that well of emotion at a safe distance. A self defence mechanism maybe, if you delve any deeper you might just go crazy..break down.

On a personal note, dont let your father rule your life any longer, and while you still hate him, he does. Lay it to rest inside yourself and take revenge by knowing you have become a better man than he.

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Thanks to all the peeps above for hitting this one, I'ma rewrite it and just add some more feeling to it.

Tourniquet, youz definitely right with that last quote, much appreciated!

1 luv

tight piece,short but still to tha point,keep droppin,~1~

It doesn't matter if it's short. Short pieces are just as good as long ones.


The emotions were compressed well. You didn't let much get in your way. Just went at it, and it came off well. But you did also put parts of it together in a fairly well thought out way. Allowing the emotions to echoe a bit. The emotions becomig more dense..

...resp....