This shit goes out to someone
who uesd to be special
you know who you are
because this will jump off the page and fill that hole in your mind...
I guess it was one of those catch 22 situations...
Feel this:


Who would have known that with a few words spoken over the phone,
I'd take a life in exchange for a soul that I used to own//
And with the press of one key, I'm suddenly empty,
And I sullenly envy those that have somebody at home//
Was I just blinded by infatuation for some other broad,
Or did my heart's procrastination make my mind believe a fraud//
But now whatever the case is, I just can't replace this
I took away my love and now my feelings are faceless//
So now your soul is free again although it's been hurt,
But where's it going to go if you'd feel better under the dirt//
But what's a man to do, deep down inside I know that I'm killing you,
And I'm killing myself, so what's the judge going to sentence me to//
Whatever he gives me for this crime just has to be betta,
That what we had that made me go mad and get on this vendetta//
For real, I'm tired of repeatin, and you've heard every version,
But damn I wish I could have taken care of this shit in person//
So now I'm sittin here tryin not to tear, cell phone in my hand,
There's nothing I can do and now we're through, She's Gone Now... Damn.//

this was alright
basic flow, adn simple vocab
up the vocab some , and it would better
but overall it was a good read dawg
keep droppin and elevatin

pelase check out my drop, it's called "I'll Never Stop" the link is in my sig.

peace

Uppin, hit this shit with some feedback.

I keep getting slept on like I had fitted sheets on......

Hit me up, don't let this one get slept on......

.................................................. ...........

tha internal wordplay was tite but tha end line rhymes were forced, at least to me, hit ur head on a cloud, naomean?...

__________________
<marquee>?</marquee>

C'mon, don't let this one fall back to page 4.....

Hit this up, let me know what you think.....

Good or bad, drop that line.

Deeeeeeeeeeecent!!! good shit, good shit, i like yo!! i know how that shit feels yo!!!

Quit sleepin on this, I don't see a label with the word Serta anywhere................

First Open Mic drop.............

descent heartfelt drop here dawg,vocab was aight,not too much wordplay,but in these peices no real need for it,the topic was well expressed so descent drop.

yo if u hit others peeps peices up they will reply to urs in return,thats how it works,so go do it dawg.

Peace

It was deep... but your flow suffered a little from tryin to explain the concept... your wordplay lacked... but like homie said ^ you dont really need it in a peice like this... and yo vocab was good...
decent shit man
A.T.

I was Feelin Your rhyme style But I belive That You Could
Step UP Your Vocab But This was still A nice Post....
Holla Back.....

Good shots on the feedback...

Keep that shit commin while I'm working on this next drop....

Laaate.

Yo this was definitely a good piece. Vocab was basic and I'd say just read a Dictionary and elivate...................
Other than that, good drop.........


PEACE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

NIce Drop man.....

I know how this shit feels too......
Vocab was decent....And i loved your flow...your opener flow reminded me of tupac, is that what you were going for? if so, you handled it well.
This, as you know, is kinda a played topic,but you did really well for it. Just keep elevatin, and i'll be sure to check out more of you open mics....

Overall- 8/10

over all a good read, basic flow had a vairy of different vocab i thought, was on point..i lied your last rhyme an how you finished it wit'a "DAMN" that was ill keep droppin homie an elavate 1

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461