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Old 09-07-03, 11:22 AM   #1
Accelerate
Straight Savage.
 
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Posts: 3,579
From: Bronx
New York,New York.

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Gotta love this place...


word..

The state of mind as we cruisin,different ethnic personalities
Pass by lower Manhattan, Ground Zero:reminder of reality
9/11 has passed, its been 2 years since that date
A date with the devil, a date that Death did Create
We've slowly rebounded the United States is still weak though
At the time we needed our mayor, he came,and helped spirits grow
Then His term was up, his heroics were never forgotten
Because I hear demons laugh, for every life thats lost when
The fateful day occurred, our lives changed drastically
But Ground Zero to us now, is a cold reminder of reality

Chorus:New York, New York City
We still here, and we ain't never left
x4


Back on to the streets, nothin much has really changed
Hip Hop is slowly returning, Blingin is gettin outta range
New York City the only place that I would ever call home
Because 9/11 happened when I was 2 years young,now im 2 years grown
My state of mind has changed, I once thought we were Invincible
One death is tragic, a million is a statistic, i learned that principle
Loss of the life, is common now on these streets
The place that I call home,a place where death will be
Surrounded by an Aura, eyes are watching me
But Word to all I love, I still love New York City
The changes occured, now we've all gotten stronger
The war in Iraq, can we hold on any longer?

Chorus

I wuestion our poverty, strife in welfare checks
Picked up every week, our problems to regret
Our power decreased, but they installing fear
Because I get a feeling in my stomach,end of the year
Will they attack us, our terror alert is too high
Never noticed before, but now listen to each plane in the sky
Some of you might no, but most have no idea
We used to live calmly, but now our days are with fear
We might live our last days, But that is in Jesus
if we die tomorrow,our fear,is relieved of us.


somethin simple, but i felt it had to be done.
Word.
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Old 09-07-03, 12:07 PM   #2
P . A .T
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that was pretty dope man.. the flow was good
the vocab wasnt dat nice.. could of came betta
with that.. but other than dat i felt it ..keep postin
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Old 09-07-03, 06:28 PM   #3
DiverseSyndicate
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it was a good topic,structure was good,vocab was simple and predictable,other than that ill shit kid.~1~
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Old 09-07-03, 06:48 PM   #4
Jagged MiC
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Your structure was very organized and flow was decent; the topic
was okay and you definitly did well with it . .

Keep writing; i'll look out for your new open mics

cheak mine out ..... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=78442
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Old 09-07-03, 11:37 PM   #5
2hot2handle
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From: illinois
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yo that was a tight rhyme but you could of done more on chorus but it was dope.
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Old 09-16-03, 10:09 PM   #6
Bash
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From: BronX
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Upping this for my dawg
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Old 09-17-03, 12:23 AM   #7
Pugilist
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From: Calgary, AB
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I was feelin' that piece right there. You brought it home nicely on that last verse, your best flowing verse of the three, and that last bar was chilling, nice work man, props.
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Old 09-17-03, 04:08 AM   #8
prophiit
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i say way to rep ya city...........also tossed in some stuff about 9-11.....would have liked to see you expand a little bit.........plus i think maybe with the title and all you should have made every verse a different aspect of new york.........9-11 for the first verse...the different hoods there..........maybe something about it being the birthplace of hip hop etc.................there was good flow but i think you watered down your vocab to get your point across.........i think you should change around the chorus a little too..........instead of:::::

Chorus:New York, New York City
We still here, and we ain't never left

maybe::::::::

Chorus:New York City, New York
We still here, and we ain't never left


this was a pretty good piece all in all homie...........i see your skill as a topical writer keep doing ya thang...............1
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Old 09-18-03, 01:25 AM   #9
Otherwordz
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From: Crown Heights, Crooklyn,11203
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yes indeed...rep Ny to da fullest dunny...I like the topic...and the way that you rep the 718/212 with that WTC shit...
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Old 09-19-03, 11:06 PM   #10
Accelerate
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From: Bronx
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why do i get feedback on pieces i don't like.damn...
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Old 09-20-03, 01:58 PM   #11
lyricalmami
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From: New York
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Thatz coo but ya shit was hott i liked to finaly get some props on my home city ya herd?
the vocab was aight and the whole concept was together
so keep it up cuzz aight
Holla!
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Old 09-20-03, 02:09 PM   #12
Accelerate
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From: Bronx
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I really hate this piece.
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