my third eye reaches the realm of reality with thoughts tracin/
on how to get my nigga off the hook without an ulitmatum/
street team rhyme resurrected from birth to six feet under rewinds/
the life cycle of the prophets first son/ emotions are perplexed daily drama seems fun/
routine for a schziophrenic/ death threats guns and mans actions creates a new synthetic/ times ended for another niggas life/ detectives at his residence breakin the news to his wife/ know second thoughts runnin through my mind/ drivin through a tornado with a quarter of E&j and 1 blunt left from my dime/ my choice made up/ i got call from my lieutinant that ur old earths reached the essence/ young man to elder of the family in the presenece/ now niggas gotta follow me/ burdened with responsibility/ feedin otha families the stress is killin me/ breakin my amoeba cells/ hopin i aint have this money just anotha ex-con from jail/ oh well take the pain and horror on my shoulder/ stock portfolios and deposit slips in the accountants folder/ for my niggas if i meet an untimely fate/ i reached the pearly gate and just wait, wait, wait/

Overall good drop dogg. Now hit mine up called "One Verse."

people are sleepin

good drop man but nerxt time make it easier to read the flowe i thought it was weird as fuck lol ...multies an similies seemed there...it was pretty good for a newb..i liekd this peep myn man...."different teritorial flow" peace

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

i like how you tried to complex the content up, added some high syallable and technical words:

the life cycle of the prophets first son/ emotions are perplexed daily drama seems fun/
routine for a schziophrenic/ death threats guns and mans actions creates a new synthetic/ times ended for another niggas life/ detectives at his residence breakin the news to his wife/

are you a fan of cormega? cos its like you influenced by him, i can see if for some reason in your rhymes, thats prob a good thing,

the structure and flow is prob the weakest thing, but if you improve that i think you got mad potential...good spittin...

peep my spit "let loose"

i thought that was ok, ive read better but it was aight. i agree wit rule the flow was weird as fuck, but other than that the peice was ok. i suggest u work on the flow, and keep elevatin and postin.