Look at me i thought that you were my friend/
I didnt think that our thug lovin would come to an end/
When i was just a young girl, only 13/
You got it on with my boyfriend, nigga he split the scene/
But i forgave you for that, i thought i'd better be nice/
But it didnt stop you, from doing it twice/
You had a bad rep for being a whore/
Always caught with your pants down, sprawled out on the floor/
I dont blame you for doing drugs, for drinking your bodyweight/
But i wouldnt have helped you if i knew youd turn out fake/
You wanna know what i think of you? listen up/
You may not like this shit, but nigga lifes tough/
You look like a fucking disabled Saddam Hussien/
When he's had to much crack and its got to his brain/
You got us all blissed off/
And pissed off/
I'm telling this girl, basically piss off/

I give you props for a new femcee on the scene, lyrics were kind of simplistic but they were brought out nicely..you got your emotions in well, I thought this was an aight piece 6/10

fav line:
When i was just a young girl, only 13/
You got it on with my boyfriend, nigga he split the scene/
But i forgave you for that, i thought i'd better be nice/
But it didnt stop you, from doing it twice/

Jus add more depth and more vocab and you be straight but uppin this...elevate

Yo thankz 4 ya veiws Bmack really appreciated!

everyone give me your opinions on this, give me a mark of ten will y'all?

Peace xx xx xx

Someone give me some feedback plz...hows a person supposed to improve if they don't have support and constructive criticism from others?

Tell me what y'all think.

yo i ain't seen to many femcees so good lookin on the spits, aight to the actual drop,

it was kinda simplistic like he said, but if its one of the first spits, it ain't like you will drop nas stuff straight away,

i think you tellin a story/topic on here, so that shows you creative, and thats a good thing, cos you ain't on that "gangsta" shit that bores me to death,

Look at me i thought that you were my friend/
I didnt think that our thug lovin would come to an end/
When i was just a young girl, only 13/
You got it on with my boyfriend, nigga he split the scene/
But i forgave you for that, i thought i'd better be nice/
But it didnt stop you, from doing it twice/

see the structure, if you make the lines more similair in size e.g if i adjust a line to show you:

When i was just a young girl, hittin the age of 13/
got it on with my boyfriend, the nigga split the scene/

or something like that, i can't think at the minute properly, but you see how it flows bit better,

it also looks structured. the content was aight, a lil basic, when you drop again try and introduce more complex words, or extend you vocab on the rhyming words, and that will make it improve loads, but good spittin, reppin the girl ting, KEEP DROPPIN

peep my spit "LET LOOSE"...peace

yo ma,,,,,just up ya vocab,multis and fix some other stuff you'll do fine trust me i know a lot of femcees who is raw,,,,just practice and you'll be right up there with them aiight!!


Peep my drop!!


O.S.

man i didnt like it at all no hate i thought it was whack..
girl why u sayin nigga and thug lovin- u from england yo....
there aint no gangstas up ova der

nice

yo lets gets so thoughts ya !!!!

Nice drop...bit simplistic but it was good for what it put out.
First few lines were ok, nice little story, but we couldn't feel any anger or anything. Add depth to the piece, it'll help out alot.

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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

Thanx 4 your opinions y'all! and as for feeling no anger, at the time it wasnt anger it was upset. But yeah i get you. I'll try take your advice, keep me posted on your thoughts aii?

Peace xx xx xx

nice shit boo.it was simple and short but for a newbie it came out well and stayed on point tha whole time,elevate ya vocab,and multis,and wordplay and youll be set,stay up.peace baby girl.~1~

ma...the structure and worplay was simple....ya need to up ya vocab a lil bit...n work on meta's more...in time you'll come more vicious than that...you need a mentor...get at me via pm...

igido

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freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S