In the distance we can hear the sirens faintly tingling our ears,
As we huddle together under the shadow of the trees,
Our private place, invaded only by the fading glow of the stars,
Darkness encompasses us, bringing us security and a chance to reflect,
A chance to break free of this cruel world of suffering and constent torment,
A time to think, a time for remembrance and fear to disappear,
To dimimnish into the last few seconds of the closing day,
As the devil lays his head to rest so do we, blanketed in a quilt of dreams,
And we are safe until the evil sun rises from his sleep,
To wake again into the harsh nightmare we call reality,
I love the night....
A time for problems to vanish like air, away into the abyss,
Where they cannot haunt us again, or forever scare us,
I feel happy cradled in the sandmans arms, as he lulls me into a gentle sleep,
Our gremlins do not fade, but instead are forgotton until we lift our weary heads from the tear stained pillow,
But at least nights i can dream......

Moral: Night is a time to chill and to reflect and think over the days events, it is a brief moment of safety before the storm.

The point of this poem was not to rhyme, but to put across my feelings and ideas, try to look beyond the lines into the story beneath, it'll read a lot better than if you try to make it flow. Thanks and pleez can i have some feed? i love hearing your opinions on my work.

Peace and Love

Moral: Night is a time to chill and to reflect and think over the days events, it is a brief moment of safety before the storm.

I never thout of night like this, it is different. I like.

Thanx J Nice every1 peep this in front lines
'Liba Dee vs Pale Horse'
Thanx for your opinion keep postin your feed y'all, i appriciate all y'all opinions and i wanna improve!!!!!

A pretty creative topic. I like how you see night time as a moment of safety before the storm. I don't see it the same way but still, it's a nice way to look at it.

The way you wrote this was good. You stayed on topic through the whole thing. It didn't lose my attention at all because of how you were describing things in it. Really nice little uplifting piece.

"A time for problems to vanish like air, away into the abyss,
Where they cannot haunt us again, or forever scare us,"

Those were the lines I liked the most out of it. Keep posting more like this up.

*grins*...

...yeah, i dig the meaning/moral to an extent. Though it does vary with myself. I dig it. The imagery you produced was mellow. Producing an atmosphere in line with that...

I did like what you depicted. It's something i know (in my own way). Not just the meaning, but the whole chilling at night outside (and also inside)...just with my thoughts. And absorbing things around me, from sound to sights. But also communicating with other 'people of the night' and what not else...like a stoned rasta...or a lonely tramp...(!)...

Though this was more a dream thing from what i understand. As in sleep. You know, understanding and contemplating the days through your dreams. Which i also dig. But i wont go into that...

..resp...

iight

in some ways i can relate to your topic. for me if something is upsetting me, if ive had a fight, or totaly stressed out about something, night time for me always helps me, its heals me. while i sleep everything is forgotten and i wake up feeling better, refreshed.

i like the way it was written, and all the detail you gave us. i didnt notice that it didnt ryme, they dont always have to, sometimes it takes away from a piece, and it would have here.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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wow where do i begin this peice caught my attention quickly from the topic to the moral you used great meaning and how you compared things to true action in life was awesome how sleep can always soothe what is real shitty in life i know how that goes and it was unique how you described it.....stay up and i plan on reading more of your work

PE@ZE

*dream big and swim free*

wow, thanx a lot y'all for all yo feedback, it means a lot to me when people can actually relate to what i'm saying and to Eviley, thanx for keeping a lookout for me...much appriciated.

peace and love y'all
xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx

Keep postin on this y'all, i am vey grateful for yo opinions!

peace and love

I love the night....
A time for problems to vanish like air, away into the abyss,
Where they cannot haunt us again, or forever scare us,

This is great because it is all so true. Drivin at nite down by the lakefront takes all my worries away and for that moment i truely can be free. It moved me and for that breif moment my mind was free. Love your writings and hope to read more of it. love peace and chicken grease, Iamo

i would like a reply from you on my poem pleeze. Its called women. tank u

Hey Smooth, i like the way you can relate, i'm glad my poem touched you! LMAO, yeah i'll check out you work and thatnks for the 'love your writings' you obviously havent read many of them, lol, but thank you!

Peace and love and peeps keep posting, gr8ful.

you have went a long way...for real...this story was creative, like u said no flow really, but it was a great piece an its nice the way you made the night seem unique not its dark im gunna go smuggle some drugs...so it was tight to read...keep it up later

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

Hey thanks Rule, keep postin everyone, i'm eternally gr8ful.

i'll be postin another poem soon, keep a look out for it y'all

LOL

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VARENTAO EDIT:

FAO LIBA DEE - Sorry, but you can't have more than two pieces on front page at one time. I edited this post because i didn't want to up this piece.

I'll be closing this and you can PM a mod once a piece or pieces of yours has cleared the front page.

CLOSED for now.