this is a song i just finished writing and ill record it soon...lettme get some input on wat ya think of it

Stabbed In The Back
Chorus (x2)
i got stabbed in the back by someone i considered a friend
but as much as i want i cant change the past this is the end
my life as been great until this day which my life was taken
all because my friend thought i was someone else and got mistaken

Verse 1
all it took was one slice to take away my life
one slice right in the back with the blade of a knife
it all started wen we went to a party and got high
and you told me all these stories on how you wished you would die
you hated your life for everyone that betrayed you and you started to go crazy
you started screaming out "someone please save me"
looks like all the drugs finally got to your head and you decided you wernt gonna take it no more
so you threw the beer on the floor and walked out the door
i followed him to the car and i drove cuz i only shot one
and i thought it would be better if he rode shotgun
then we reached his crib and i dropped him off
i guess the drugs got him sick cause he couldnt stop the cough
then that night was wen it all happened he decided to get back at his rival
he went to his kitchen and got a knife and said his death would be vital

Chorus (x2)
i got stabbed in the back by someone i considered a friend
but as much as i want i cant change the past this is the end
my life as been great until this day which my life was taken
all because my friend thought i was someone else and got mistaken

Verse 2
he went to the park and wandered by the trees
smacked away the flys and swatted all the fleas
he started getting angry and he kicked around the sand
then he tightly gripped his knife that was placed in his hand
he started getting anxious and started to get pissed
then he got frustrated cause he remembered how he got dissed
then he thought he found the man that he was looking for and charged with his knife
then stabbed him in the back until he had taken the mans life

Chorus (x2)
i got stabbed in the back by someone i considered a friend
but as much as i want i cant change the past this is the end
my life as been great until this day which my life was taken
all because my friend thought i was someone else and got mistaken

Verse 3
he raised the knife off the mans back and turned him over to reveal his face
after he saw who it was he fell in shock and his heart pumpped at a fast pace
he started crying and he shook the man to see if he was dead
but the man made no sound cuz he was dead with blood through his head
he didnt kno wat to do he was frightened and he threw the knife on the ground
then kept running not knowing where to go and tried not to make a sound
he kept running across the park until he tripped
after that moment that tables turned
the cops arrived and they surrounded the area i guess someone saw the crime
he said he didnt do it but his prints were on the knife..guess hes gonna do some time
as he got rushed to jail the mans parents went to the park and wanted to see who had died
after they saw they both had tears in their eyes
then the neighbors came because they saw them crying so they wanted to see
then they looked down and noticed it was me

Chorus (x2)
i got stabbed in the back by someone i considered a friend
but as much as i want i cant change the past this is the end
my life as been great until this day which my life was taken
all because my friend thought i was someone else and got mistaken

uppin for feedback.....

^^uppin....cmon dun sleep on this shizzite

Its Alright, you need work on the multies in it though.
and the flow also needs some work, but it was an
alright peice for a guy of your calibre.

^^well if you hear it on audio its way different...just read it as if u were recordin it and ull find the flo...uppin for more feedback

good story telling ability , throw in some multies and i think it would be a very good piece,, did that really happen? or is it a fantasy piece?

^^yea it did happen and right now im in heaven on the godly computer .....naw it didnt happen...just a song ima record later

DAt was tight i kno whatcha mean u gotta hear it on audio and i think its gonna be betta if u record it,tight shit.much luv kepp doin ya thang.

yea i agree wit my boy Jadee.ill dawg.keep dat shit up mane .like it.cold.cold.


CTF(represent)

word...uppin for feedback....