Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
|
09-22-03, 07:20 AM | #1 | |
Guest
|
..::jus a lil KeY StyLe::..
IP:
my chests compressed wit stress, my vests been blessed wit crests, digest incest and sex//
complex hex rests on a whisper that i recite, aint nothin crisper than when i re-light my-mic// you like too fight despite your fright, color dont matter brown,black,or white// ill displace-you i like inerracial bustin nuts all in her facial// sorry im so vivid and painted-my-picture, but some motherfuckers done tainted-my-scriptures// my flows composed on scrolls are kept and froze, in a library wit snow exposed in many seperate rows// i need a girl that blows and some smoke that glows, purple and blue so my folks get blowed// puffin-fluffy-green, nothins-much-scerene, touchin-puppys-dreams, aint nothin-but-these-fiends// one day i fear tha streets'll defeat me, but untill then my weed, pen and beats is all i need to complete-me. |
|
09-22-03, 07:38 AM | #2 | |
Guest
|
IP:
im only trying to help when i say this so please dont get mad, to me when i read this i felt like you were searching for any decent size word and rhymed with it, this open mic made no sense to me. I felt like all i was reading was a bunch of words, mistaken for a verse. Try thinking about something and then write about it with the words that actually express it.
Good Luck! FaZe² |
|
09-22-03, 07:56 AM | #3 | |||
Banned
|
IP:
Quote:
Yeah i agree with what he says you`ll get it just keep trying and write about something that you know something about and make sure it has some good wordplay and metas and a lil bit of vocab and you`ll be str8 1.. |
|||
09-22-03, 10:37 AM | #4 | |
Guest
|
IP:
this was merely a key style, not topical,not about anything,jus displayin rhyme skills.uppin^
|
|
09-22-03, 10:42 AM | #5 | ||
Masquarading 4 U
|
IP:
"im only trying to help when i say this so please dont get mad, to me when i read this i felt like you were searching for any decent size word and rhymed with it, this open mic made no sense to me. I felt like all i was reading was a bunch of words, mistaken for a verse. Try thinking about something and then write about it with the words that actually express it."
I agree with this guy completely, your style is hard to read to
__________________
sigs are for herbs...Thats why I got one! |
||
09-22-03, 10:52 AM | #6 | |
Guest
|
IP:
Casper?
Last edited by LiraculKorean : 09-22-03 at 06:41 PM. |
|
09-22-03, 01:34 PM | #7 | |
Guest
|
IP:
yea who wants to know?
|
|
09-22-03, 01:37 PM | #8 | |
Guest
|
IP:
well i wish there was something i could tell you,this wasnt topical,it wasnt typed to make sense,it jus displayed tha rhymes that i could kick,in no direct order, tha rhymes werent about anything, it had NO TOPIC therefor it had NO MEANING jus somethin i put together quick like to flow and display, i can stay on topic when tha verse has a topic to go along with,jus lettin ya know,but thanks for the replies,~1~
|
|
09-22-03, 02:50 PM | #9 | ||
Tampons are expensive
|
IP:
Sometimes a keystlye can be a stress-free cure for boredness. I do that once in awhile...just writing random stuff from the top of my head and i wouldnt really care if its good or not but just the feeling of writing something make me relax.
This wasnt that bad but the fact that it was off at some points made them think that it was bad. Ladies..this is what you call a vent of writing.
__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit - - Tampons are still expensive - - That's a Fact - </center> |
||
09-22-03, 03:21 PM | #10 | |
Guest
|
IP:
well thanks now i feel calm,it was merely venting wel half and half, half venting,half boredom, thanks for tha insight,i was jus tryin to make these kats understand you dont have to post a topical piece in open mic for it to be considered good open mic.
|
|
09-22-03, 05:59 PM | #11 | ||
BANNED: Cheater
|
IP:
thought it was ok as far as flow went, but i agree that it had no topic, all mixed up dawg, seemed to have a bit of a battle style goin on in places, pick a topic and stick to it
PUT SOME EMOTION IN IT, SUM FEELING............................. YALL ASKED..................PEACE |
||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|