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Old 09-23-03, 01:36 PM   #1
Evolve
OriginIll
 
Posts: 2,104
Guessing Game (Slept On SS Piece)

IP:

i cant compose my life, how am i suppose to write
light doesn't illuminate my fate, cant face the light
sight is blind to reality, no weight, empty calorie
pockets to collect dust in, just a disgusting salary
my life's a discussion in fallacy, lie's interpreted
run from the righteous and let's let the serpent in
dig deep in my soul, bury the pain.. keep it from surfacing
worry tears of rain, strained from my worth in sin
heart of tin bursting from hate's flowing fire within
burning my skin till i expire from earth's entire spin
bless my next of kin, child with a father who's half there
why bother, i wouldn't dare to pass him this path of despair
its not fair, so instead i stay spoon fed with doom and dread
until the time i am presumed dead, then.. remove my head
cut out my mind ruined in red, left is blood shed from evil
enough anguish for a million people to feed each one's sequel
this is equal to a conversation with God hoping he'd reach you
teach you a lesson and the point he and I are stressing
choices are what make each direction a different expression
When shame keeps testing & get’s you guessing the game
Switch frames & just get the game guessing the same
We’re all expecting the fame, only to pull up lame w/ doubts
But that’s what the game’s about.. uncertanties & wishes
Just when you think life taste’s delicious
You come to find out it’s been served on dirty dishes

Life is a guessing game.. sometimes you guess wrong


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Old 09-23-03, 02:47 PM   #2
Gene Pool
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nice peice man. good flow, good vocab, good everything. so keep em droppin man.

and if u got the time check out "2 of a kind (feat. Masta C)" and leave us some feedback plz
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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>
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Old 09-23-03, 03:13 PM   #3
pot1ent
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The other reply didn't quite explain this

MAD-DOPE-ILL-SHREWD

You had a mad nice rhyme scheme with alot of multis keeping them complex with great vocab...Your contents satyed on point with immense precision...and too top that off you had great imagery and yes the mutlis kept it to the max with all the others ingrediants...

BOn appetite to too all others..its tasty

...

Holla at my piece...Minipulate...

o
N
e
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Old 09-23-03, 03:51 PM   #4
Menik
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From: Mifflinburg, PA
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Yeah this peice was a good one, i liked reading it, you had a good rhyme scheme, and a lot of multies, it also had good flow, everything seemed good, keep dropping man.
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Old 09-23-03, 05:00 PM   #5
Evolve
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Appreciated
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Old 09-23-03, 05:18 PM   #6
fgee
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very good creative drop....
flow was dam good thruout from what ui cud see
some really good imagery and word play

'run from the righteous and let's let the serpent in
dig deep in my soul, bury the pain.. keep it from surfacing
^dope lines

'bless my next of kin, child with a father who's half there
why bother, i wouldn't dare to pass him this path of despair
^good thought provoking shit

'Just when you think life taste’s delicious
You come to find out it’s been served on dirty dishes

ill finisher

a really solid verse....
werdness
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Old 09-23-03, 05:26 PM   #7
Ctownzfinest21
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u had sum good verses nice vocab and good rymes also had a good flo.like dat mane.keep spittin.holla if yall got time check out dangerous grounds pt 1 of 4 and let me kno whatcha think.
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Old 09-23-03, 06:56 PM   #8
C-TownsFinest5
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good flow and vocab.need lil work but i like it.holla


CTF(represent)
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Old 09-23-03, 07:00 PM   #9
Accelerate
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From: Bronx
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O.K
This was a solid verse throughout.
Really, I expected more, but I won't need an explanation.Lots of good lines were used, and as always the flow was pin-point. Seemed though, that it lost focus at some points, and it seemed to get a little boring, but that was made up for in the way that you presented the idea, and in the way you used your words. Nice drop, all I'm saying is that the piece needed a little more consistency, if you edited a couple of little filler lines, it would've helped the overall quality. Still a good verse.
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Old 09-23-03, 10:36 PM   #10
gotaloveforrap
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From: Phoenix, AZ
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that was pretty dope man. the vocab and wordplay were good. the content and topic were original. overall that peice was ill, keep postin man, i really enjoyed readin that

yo if u have the time can u check out my post?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81167
thanx

peace.....
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Old 09-24-03, 09:31 AM   #11
Evolve
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Appreciated
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Old 09-24-03, 09:36 AM   #12
fgee
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ill drop more feedback if u feedbak on mine
or is mine too dope?
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Old 09-24-03, 04:00 PM   #13
Evolve
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lol @ fgee... i replied to yours... thanks for your feedback
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Old 09-24-03, 04:02 PM   #14
Chrit
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From: Elevated beyond Description
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Hmm...
Good imagery here...

Nice wordplay which is to be expected with evolve...

Somehow this just lacked something...
I cant put a finger upon it...
Right now it is borderline ill....

Damn nice drop...

I wish I could explain further...

Peep:
Huh? ft Chrit
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