Reason's why not to drink and drive

While Driving:
tipsy tervy~flipsy swervy~
Light flashin~cars crashin/
heads smashin~steadily breathin~
death askin~my alcholah is my pashion/
seat belt unbuckled~girl in the back screamin~
i wish i was dreamin~I think i am- Im beliving/
Then i feel a sharp pain~Blood drops fall like rain~
If i survive it wont be the same~if i kill somebody~
family members put to shame~I'll be the one put on wit da blame/
I feel the blood pourin down my shirt~
U see the peices of glass all over my ladies skirt/
Me n her~was tight~Like Ernie And Burt~
we coulda got married~possibly burried~same cemitary/
Now r chances still vary~we might be put to rest in the same place~
as i look and see her face~i black out~i pass out~
i GUESS God is the garbage man~hes takin the trash out/

Someone nudges me~rudily interrupted~
My 'DREAM' is abruted~
THANK U~i see my girls face~she's mad pale~Eyes closed~
I survied~i guess i did make the mistake...

i was feelin that more than the first man. i liked the content and topic, they were pretty original. the vocab and wordplay were great. i found that extremely interesting so thanx for postin.

peace.....

thanks for rep nigga.. uppin

yeah this was a alright peice i thought, you had good multies, your flow was pretty good but you should try to keep the lines even to make the flow better, but it was a good drop, keep dropping, and if you could check out me and Gene Pools peice called "nice guys finish last" thanks

this was a tight piece, nice vocab,nice wordplay, choppy rhyme scheme, alright content, nice imagery.nice spit all in all, keep spittin.~1~

what they all said^^

flow was good and consistent
vocab was def a gem on this... i liked
mulits, metas, wordplay.... they were there and pretty good

like the trash line

if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81183

Hook:
Many Many Many Men wish Death pon me~
Neva believed in Jesus~but now i thrive for The Christ~
Chastized spirtis from above~no one shows King LiL LoCo the love/

Like the hook goes~
im wanted wit Crips~more den Pac's foes/
I wish this was in the past~but like a stuck door it not goin to close~
Stabed 6 times~got my shit coped~got robbed for some nicks and dimes/
Spittin rhymes~Slangin Oz's~Clippin G's~
im just livin my life~didnt think it'd strife~up against me~
just the inner kid~tryin to break out~dun think God loves me- i doubt/
Mom killed at a young age~neva new her~i got that pent up in the rage~
even when i grab the mic i feel the anger on da stage~
my words slur~my eyes blur~got hit wit some lead~
i aint dead/
I wish one day ill just be taken off this earth~
ive been hated by men i neva new since birth/
Born a gangsta~Rolled at a young age~
Now niggas want my life/

Hook

Shit is just a life~got a son~but no wife~
How is this happenin~wish i awoke from this dream~my brain needs some strappin/
Niggas gon be clappin~
Triggas tappen~i aint askin for much/
Just such~that i stay alive to see my boy grow~
always puttin my strap into my sternum~
Shit its time to live~my clips uve earned um~
5-0 this dun concern um~
u wanted war its been staged~
U wanted me dead since 12~ive aged/
Now ill kill for no reason~
Shit i luv it when niggas stop breathin~
now im slangin Pounds~Oz's i break it up into 8ths~
My heart~my love~its cold~
Niggas get bucked all the time~that shit is old~
it dun even bother me~i didnt shed one tear for 9-11/

Hook

not that good i keyed it up in like 5 mins lol