I'm proud to be, part of everything given//
Part of that time's soul starts tickin'//
Baby to this world, i need to be kickin'//
I'm proud to be, what i am, never forgiven//

Its like i've settled my pain with knives and games//
I've won the fact that i am what i want, even the shames//
I don't care what people think, its not part of my style//
I write rhymes n intice lines to decypher whats what the recitle//
I take it you don't understand what makes me me//
Its the fact that i believe im not you, n you could never be me//
Take it 3 because thats however many chances you get//
My lifes like trying to take a dump, just no where to sit//
I could piss the fact that i'm alive, forget about it//
I choke holds like manifolds were part of my vents// (exaust)
I couldn't believe i've made it this far, its like i'm talking the walk, just never hit the tar//

I'm proud to be, part of everything given//
Part of that time's soul starts tickin'//
Baby to this world, i need to be kickin'//
I'm proud to be, what i am, never forgiven//

I'm proud to be part of this world, ha, never underestimated//
Underrated like i took parts of my life and made them debate~em//
My lines, never to short, but they make the point across//
Like a dot without a cure, plenty to read but shots without the scure//
Follow what i say? I'm always marching to a new beat//
But i never step once more before i move my feet//
I take a deep, breath that is, and i trudge the street//
Finding a new meaning to my lifes depressed streak//
Falling quickly, but never down to earth//
Since i've started dying from the first breath of birth//
Its like i had a hole to insert, no matter what life gives, i've been fucked since birth//

I'm proud to be, part of everything given//
Part of that time's soul starts tickin'//
Baby to this world, i need to be kickin'//
I'm proud to be, what i am, never forgiven//

don't sleep ya'll... tell me how this key was...

fell off a couple of times here...

but for the most part the flow and overall mechanics were on point...which is rare for a key. nice topic..not exactly revolutionary but not played either..


werent really any weak points here...

besides the fact that half of your lines started with 'I'



overall i think that it was a nice piece..

it was a pretty good peice, good read i thought, the flow was was pretty good, your topic was good, try to add some more multies, It was a pretty good peice overall, keep dropping, and if you get the chance check out me and Gene Pools peice called "nice guys finish last" Thanks.

if ya think this is ill check out his other open mic

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81183

oh yeah... i think im on that one 2