Its just that feeling you get..It helps you afloat and sail above..
A tale, a hug..And love only fails, when we live and fail to love..
But its the way we headin..Fogetting, all the pain connecting..
Love isnt just looking at each other..But in the same direction..
The rain, affection..But sometimes our feelings inside were mild..
Love dont make the world go round..But makes the ride worthwhile..
Ive liked,your style..And no doubt'll spark, and love im about to start..
Its better to have a heart without words..Than words without a heart..
Found my mark..But i was strolling through life and then fell in you..
The hell i knew..Cuz,My mind plays tricks, but the heart tells the truth..
Kept well, and grew..We was intact cuz no one else does me that..
And how can i go on loving you, when you dont love me back..
My stomach cracks..Im overcomed, and my love has grown dark..
Lets go start..Becuz they say the worst prison, is a closed heart..
You've shown smarts..And the cards you dealt, been dealiin three..
What real to see..I been hopin for that day you'd be feelin me..
And, needlessly..I was in awe and dark, I finally saw a heart..
The hardest part..I felt you sketched an opening, and drawed apart..
The more i own, these enoumous blows..I feel my core is thrown..
I was torn and thrown..But im still thankful for a broken corazon..
Together, or alone..Your still the one thought that stays on mind..
For days, im blind..Cuz my love was rapid, and you were way behind..
But, we may be fine..With the truth i feel, me and you, its just fate..
With trust, wait..Cuz im Lovin you, for however long it must take..
If loves fake..I dont wanna be real. and honestly, fear my life..
Without her here tonite..My hearts is still open, and shes near in sight..
Its clear and right..The absolute, ultimate and honest to god truth..
We got us an odd route..And you know Once the bomb hit, i got you..
Stay modest, and got thru..In reality, im talkin only above the world..
My love, my pearl..And i couldnt imagine marrying, another gurl..
One hug and twirl..Can you see it? The future, us wit two kids..
And love is trueness..I can see it, but its always tough to do it..
Thru the rough, and lose hits..The cold, and know i care we started..
There and guarded..I must live in you,cuz home is where the heart is..
Never to say we're departed..Read every word i said, and sink it in..
No glimpse of sin..Im done, and if loves my victory..I think i win.................

uppin 4 feedback..........uppin........

yep....
pz.....

aight kid.. here we go
the flow was very much on point... made reading very easy
the mulits were there...basic but better than nothing
vocab was kinda lacking.. need to work on that
overall all good drop

if you would be so kind (sorry all are sleept on)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81616
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81183
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81665

ok thanx for the feeback playa...uppin......

Good peice i thought, it was a good read too, your flow was good i thought, you had good multies, your vocab was alright, structure was good too i thought, overall id say it was good, keep dropping and if you get the chance check out one of my peice, much appreciated, thanks.

dope flo and tight structure
I was feeling the subject matter
nice drop dawg

Flowed well, nice concept, .....kinda deep, .....iite vocab ,.......keep em comin dawg ......liked this piece

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