man i spat this keystyle an the cat didnt show up,
i aint even had myfirst battle yet
so i wanna kno how to evolve my style feedback wud be nice



aiight check/
im like eyes an computers, 2 your health im detremental/
u like a rap record with no words u's like an instrumental/
theres no point u bein around u wack, like NOUGHTS in the bank/
an im'a CROSS ready to X ya ass out an thank/
U..../ for battlin me, in a battle wit only one winner/
an it aint gon be you winnin, cos im u a saint an im a sinner /
the good guy usually wins, but this time it aint the case/
u gonna cum out wit ryhmes, thats bout as interestin as dryin paint/ i bet u got no pace, u the turtle im on speed an im the hare/ i dont usually like sleepin, but they can on u i dont care/
an i kno ur parents treats u like shit clothes, in the wardrobe which u dont wear/

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uppin for comments...................................

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Hmm,
This was very basic,you lacked in a lot of areas.But since it's your first key on this site,i'll give you credit for trying.Now if you want to improve then listen up:
Improve on
-multis
-metties
-vocab
-wordplay
^Learn^...your bar structure was crappy try to fix that next time around.
1

^^^werd. u tryed ur best, so keep at it, and ull elevate, but it aint my job to tell u how good u could get, so ima tell u what i thought of the post. it was pretty basic, the vocab and wordplay especially. try addin multis and metas in ur shit next time, but that was ok for ur first. just keep workin at it and ull improve ur skills. good luck man.

peace.....