yo ama let my knowledge drop!!!....................feel the vibe
lil story........peep

She sits in a gloomy room,
Shrivelling with cold and doom
She utters with weeps as thoughts recede,
And destined to nothing less than sorrow and deceive.

Lost in her own mind
She’s too weak to fight back and only flows with the tide
The pain with each breath seems to be much stronger,
And fate assures this pain to prolong much longer.

Ever since she could remember,
She was a child of bliss and tender,
Her face so delicate, sweet as the doves,
Always smiling, its aim was to spread love.

Her attacker couldn’t care less of her
Taking the blame she’s left to bear,
“ Who will listen after all?” she cries,
The earlier I tell, the earlier I die.

“ It’s only for the best”, they will say
Believing their way is going to repay
All that’s been possessed and taken away
Expecting her to just forget like it’s some childs play.

Too hard to forgive the tears shed,
Too hard to forget how much she bled
She doesn’t know how to deal with all the fear
And the man whose voice so crystal clear.

Meanwhile on the other side of the city
Her friend too is experiencing the same misery
Once like precious stones, living in vain,
They both now share and endure the same pain.


Critics

Respect!!

The ending totally came out in suprise. Didn't even know what it was there for.

This was nice even though it was a descriptionary peice. I mean, there was a situation and you described it as it was at one single moment. Pretty awe inspiring in of itself. And there weren't any real technical problems in it either. None I could find at least.

Overall I liked this.

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

you did through down an amazing vibe...you lifted my eyes on that man...that was dope...the word play was incredible and the imaginary..vcab was tihght damn good poem homie...keep it up

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

NECRO AnD RULE Thanks fo THe RESp

UPPUN

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