shitty mics + audio newbies = bad song..


dont expect brilliance, but feedback is GREATLY appreciated as we both need it.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/1/dezmusic.htm



thank you.

i lost my clone long ago..& im still trying to find myself..
its my fault i chose to fold when the perfect hand wasnt delt
must be bearing the interests of someone else
cuz nary do any of my decisions benefit me..
dishonest tendencies toppled with chronic led to chronic truancies
but this is my destiny..i dont seek the meaning of life, i just write rhymes..
for my Grail isnt an object..its to hear kids recite my lines
until the end of time, ill never giveup despite the hardships..
there will be nowhere to hide once my storm finally hits
watch me steal your clocks tick.. cuz i want to be the only tok..
tie up the subject of every everyday convo, & be in it more often than knot
a masterpiece or an ink blot?.. its up to the critics to decide..
am i riding the wave of success?.. or am I getting takin for the ride?
new day, new laws to abide..nobody wants suffering, but the only real concern is #1..
my limelight will be UV..so fuck a mile a minute, ill be basking a full 15 in the sun
trying to leave yall stunned.. and for once, im going without the tazer..
i give up..so imma bury my cash in the soil so maybe my kidsll hit paydirt
this may hurt, but know this..even when theres 0 on the clock,
ill still be on corners uprootings signs..pulling all the stops

Camerac...You fuckin stay in writing you hoe...I hope you getta deal in the UK...You deserve too...

NO Bullshit^^

Deziyr...Dope man...I felt your lines...

...::Overall::...

I no this was a first audio...So props to both cuz this was enjoyable to listen too

Pz

very nice lyrics, no doubt -
quality = not very good, meaning you can tell it was done on a pc

btw - if thats all you have to work with - try getting like Cool Edit Pro or something, you can modify yer voice on there....

nice shit though - you just need to get in a studio

You told us quality wasn't that good to begin with - so I won't tell you anything you don't already know. The beat could be turned up a notch or two in volume, it was really tough to hear it.

Cam - Lyrics were nice, as expected. Like I told you on AIM, only thing I really see wrong is breath control and quality. Flow was alright, better than I expected for your first audio. Nice verse. .

Dez - Voice is mad deep, and was hard to tell what you were saying in some spots, try standing a little farther away from the mic when you spit, it will eliminate some of those pops. Lyrics were good, flow was ok. . Sounds like you're reading straight off the paper. . Just up your quality some, and try to show some more emotion.

Overall, this was a good listen for your first audio, guys. Keep at it, and keep droppin`.

Cam- Beat is waaay too low. But I can tell your sort of offbeat. Lower your vocals and back from the mic a bit. Too much reverb. Delivery needs work. Sounds like you're just reading it really. Lyrics were nice. I can tell you're new to audio. Overall it was decent. I won't call it a dope first attempt cuz you need a lot more practice but it was decent.

Dez- Monotoned as fuck. Sounds like you didn't even want to do this. Very offbeat. Vocals are too lowd. This is just bad mixing. Step away from the mic when you spit and you'll take away those breaths on the mic. I can tell you're new. Just work on delivery and emotion. And try to write the flow directly to the beat.

Overall- This was ok. You two need to practice a lot more. Get a beat and rip it for a couple days. Just rock it and then switch to a new beat and rock that one for a few days. Trust me this will help the flow a lot. And try to come more hyped. Act like you wanna actually do the track. Pz.

__________________
R.I.P.- Epimetheus
Robert L. Rem
1986-2003

LoL

truth stated, the youths fate is in these hands of mine
feeling rusty. . sweeping the dusty sands of time
from the clocks face, heated, so the block stays seated
as we pace streets and lace beats with great speech then
amaze the weak at heart with a love sonnet that boasts
in relationships, sometimes Distance can bring you close
and thats realer than most quotes, gentle my form
Cams the walking metaphor only here to settle scores
i adore the basic bass kick, the sudden drum snare
the mystic enlightenment of a deity thats not there.
yet im freighttfully unaware or the dangers that procede
so i'll seek the aid of a stranger that bleeds like i bleed
and hopefully free his mind, awaken his tainted passion
and decore his minds walls in some spray painted fashion.
im ok, thanks for asking, now kindly fuck off and leave
cuz i wanna be left alone along w/ peace and tranquility.
whats gotten into me? its like i hear the beat amazed
figure fuck it, and start buskin on my quest for change.
the rests been sayed before, but history known to repeat
so let me break it down for those who're still following. .
What you say, and what you do, are completly different views
But if you believe in you, then no one can fault what you do.
So as long as your staying true, and saying what you believe in
Just ignore the pessimists that insist you'll never achieve it. .

__________________
W o r d P e r f e c t

i appreciate all the feedback thusfar...told yall not to expect anything good & you came in here with that mindstate.


thank you all.

First off, I'd like to say, I love listening to British hip hop. With that out of the way, Quality is a your biggest problem. The shitty mics is definitely a big part of it.

Cam-I hate you and your dope lyrics. Your flow was pretty on point, and your accent makes me cream. I could pinpoint the exact second when you stopped recording, cuz there was a lot of background noise in your part. All you need is a better mic and better editing.

Bax-Your content was dope, but you sounded like a deadpan comic. There was no emotion, and it didn't seem like you were flowing with the beat. Try to learn your lyrics before you record, so you're not reading right off the page, makes it sound better.

pretty good overall, better than my first audio for sure. probably better than my new audio
Peace

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

^ Ahahahaha, i learned mine so i didnt have to read it because iive seen threads before where they say the guy sounds like he reads off the paper, but yeah, my accents cool. Bax tried with the mixing and he did a damn better job than i fucking could considereing neither of us knew what the fuck did what! LoL. .
anyways, get at the Kredit one when it goes up, i did a lot better on that one IMO - this one kinda took my breath tryna say it all, buy yeah, thanks for the replies = )

__________________
W o r d P e r f e c t

i cant join the audio league,
i dont have CEP or anything and i cant get it since i fucked up 2.1 and 2000 so blah. .
dont expect miracle audios from me any time soon.

__________________
W o r d P e r f e c t

you both need some serious work... dez.... you need the most.... dope fuckin lyrics for both of you.... butr soem should just stay text... no more makin fun of my dez lol...


i liked how cam said tranquility... its was dope

dope lyrics fo zho.... just needs some work.... and a better audio program

Cam, get on Soulseek, you can download CEP 2.0 from me. .