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Old 09-27-03, 08:44 PM   #1
Mental God
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SS Verse: On The Horizon

IP:

On the horizon i see different colors and lights
I see the diferent relationships, accompanied by the fights
I see the nights, when you wish you had someone there
somone who cared, and someone who with everything you shared
somone you wouldnt be scared to talk to
somone whos door you could walk through
whne you have a problem thats caught you
it shocks you
when you realize where your horizons brought you
you ought to, look back and reminisce
on the bliss of the kiss that life gave you
when it saved you, life is not a fable
the cards are face down on the table
all bets are off, no matter what the cost
i cant go back in time without getting lost
they only call it the past cause its forgone from time
but it stays stuck in your mind
till you explore, peel it away like a orange rind
see what you find, is the truth of the future
peice it together like a puzzle held with sutures
stitch it, make sure it sits right
fits tight, and glows in your mind at night
it makes you bright, cause you now have the insight
to see what you are doin with your life
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Old 09-27-03, 09:07 PM   #2
rule
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From: Ont.
IP:

that was a good piece..i liked the flow the hole thing caught my eye..it was all good the word play was tight the life theme was ill i liked that keep it up man 8.10
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Old 09-27-03, 09:47 PM   #3
gotaloveforrap
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From: Phoenix, AZ
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man dude u that was really tight. i thought the wordplay and vocab stood out the most. the concept was amazing how u told it throughout the peice. the topic was original and overall id rate it a 8.5/10. keep postin man, i really enjoyed readin that.

peace.....
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Old 09-27-03, 10:05 PM   #4
Menik
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From: Mifflinburg, PA
IP:

Yeah this was a good peice i thought, it was a good read also, your wordplay was good, and you had good vocab, your content was good, and your concept was good as well, overall id say it was a good peice, keep dropping.
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Old 09-28-03, 12:27 AM   #5
Mental God
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IP:

thx for the feeedback.... anything else???
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