this is just sum shit that i had a dream about last night...lamo...i just wrote it and it only took me 10 minutes...

Can you imagine if we were computers damn that would be a blast man//
If you were overweight just simply empty out that trashcan//
Fat cells deleted like an Internet pirate’s virus cmon now try it//
Diets replaced with Norton’s anti Virus, shit yeah I’d Buy it//
And if you were a fuckin weakling fallen to the Grade 6 bully’s hand//
Get off your ass pussy, pay the money to upgrade that stick of ram//
And if you were ugly you could simply download a new attraction//
For a fraction of the cost of one of those plastic surgery actions//
You could defrag your mouth, make your teeth white as Winter Set Albino’s//
And if you ever ran low on that money, walk into a Internet Casino//
You could download a lie detector to call out people if they talk fake shit//
You could be a hacker called neo found by morph…wait that’s the matrix//
You couldent go outdoors tho circuits fry to beat the hot hot sun//
You wouldent have to though, just download meals from PizzaHut.com//
But yo there is a factor I didn’t take into account, remember we don’t have blood// That means we don’t have a mind, limbs, or a heart to love//

Invalid Function Download Aborted
A virus with overrun ability reported
Stagnant files and applications corrupt now
Just my luck now I’m about to be shut down

It wouldn’t be so hard, no more murder, push pause to halt the mister//
We would all be certificate educated if we had a personal Altavista//
A broken computer program crashes in my mind//
Brain stems branch out to look at what they will never find//
Invalid user name firewalls construct to leave download’s incompleted//
Left my grey matter depleted everything searched for deleted//
Defeated by a broken keyboard resting on my shoulders adjacent sway//
Left the alphabet conjured in impatient ways so I never know what to say//
My Backspace key is set to erase as soon as someone’s read them//
That’s why I can’t remember these words 5 minutes after ive said them//
Even tho I bled them repeated the same compliments three hundred times//
But no-one minds when they are the condiments In conjured rhymes//
My density levels are fucked so I sit in a Room in tactic lights//
Numerical keys muddled so I don’t put enough value on human sacrifice//
I typed heartache into my Search, it came back “Yes Life’s Nothin”//
I need help, if only the human body came with a F5 Button//

Invalid Function Download Aborted
A virus with overrun ability reported
Stagnant files and applications corrupt now
Just my luck now I’m about to be shut down

10 minutes huh i cant get that out in 3 days... ohh yea feedback
i like the computer human idea... its well unique
the flow was off at time but reading this was still easy
vocab was limited... computer terms mostly..
multis lacked... i like multis...
good drop kid...

if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82007

yeah this was a good peice, it made for a good read i thought, your vocab was good, you could have used more multies, flow was pretty good, overall id say it was a pretty good peice, keep dropping

thannx for the relpies...uppin

uppin for more replys

redgvfsdgdsfsdfsdafsd

i was really feelin that, the topic was hella original, i thought it was tight as hell, the flow was off a little durin the post, but it still was a good read. like the two guys above me said, u lacked some multis, but the vocab and wordplay were ok. overall that was hella good, keep it up man.

peace.....

thanx