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Old 09-28-03, 03:41 PM   #1
pot1ent
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Spiderman(Feat Mary-Jane)

IP:

As Mary-Jane reminisces of spiderman

Mary-Jane aka Mary-Jane needs to be saved by a hero
Or maybe just dirty things whispered in her ear-hole


last week I met this hot guy, sat me on his thighs/ as I stared into his eyes I could see he was disguised/ Lookin like an american flag witout the white/ I was right, I saw the real him later that night/ feelin like, I had found my one and only/ He left the next day, he would be back he told me/ I was out chillin wit my friends, later that day/ Some punk thugs came up wit somethin to say/ Shots went off, bullets flyin, saw my friend drop, started cryin/ Ran away, they gave chase, sprintin fast, thought I was flyin/ Shit! tripped over a trash can, he grab me by his hand/ Help help! Wheres my spider man?locked in a vacant warehouse, I stare out/ At the empty dark streets, and Im scared out/ of my wits, cuz my man aint know where I am/ I love him jus as much as i love my fam/ Im afraid bout what them bitches gonna do~to me/ keep sayin to myself its joke, they only foolin~me/ but in reality, im shiverin, huddled by a trash can/ prayin that I will be saved by my spider man/



Spiderman looks beyond the allready written and into his heart

Potent aka spiderman is dominating the web
I'll string up lyrics never tolerating whats said


I make my own destiny to hone heroic festivities
Biggest gift was my blood to own tonic abilities
Victims ministry have Arachnophobia cuz of me
I really own ya instead of relied to save overly
Now y'all know me i can go and see to Mary-Jane
Im coming baby!!without you i''d be barely insane
Blood sparingly drains< if you ever left my side
Why do you have to always impress my eyes?
Girl your so fly i'd risk my live for you to survive
How did are love derive? It wasn't made for us
Displayed for kids to get 'happy life' syllabus
Another tachy life combusts from watching me
Watch me...
...extend on this a little
Mary-Jane your more precious than the air that i breath
You leave my thoughts senseless so im unable to leave
Fables recieved just decieve my love, im lost in sights
Loves planned out like you no i come out ontop of fights
Never stop the hype because we're like the Beckhams
A perfect couple...They stumbled so now ours beckoned
But we're like the defendants with ourself as the judge
Hypnotise ya'll like pendants that life won't be a drudge
Now i holda a grudge on us Mary-Jane cuz we're fake
I don't know if fictonal love is enough for us to elate
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Old 09-28-03, 03:57 PM   #2
BiZzUrK
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From: ILL-I-NOIS
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I liked this, good flo and character work, but the topic matter was a little skewed
This didn't seem all that deep on the surface, but after a second read I could reveal all types of metaphors
I thought I saw sum weed references,lol
"Mary-Jane your more precious than the air that i breath
You leave my thoughts senseless so im unable to leave"
and the whole waiting for spiderman fictional love thing I related to false hope and infactuation
nice piece
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Old 09-28-03, 03:57 PM   #3
Mary~Jane
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i think that was pretty good for my first one, that was definitely ill comin from your end pot1ent

hope we can do another one soon


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Old 09-28-03, 03:58 PM   #4
.:FiorZ:.
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From: England
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sum ill shit peeps............
lyrics were nice, flow was tight, topic was coo and felt it.............
structure was nice and kept with the topic which was ill..............
in all, this was a nice piece and had true meaning.................
hope to see y'all collab sum utha time..................

Peace............................................. .Fiori
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Old 09-28-03, 05:00 PM   #5
Menik
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From: Mifflinburg, PA
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yeah this was a good peice i thought, it was a good read as well, your flow was good, you had good content, your structure was pretty good, overall id say this was a good peice, keep dropping.
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Old 09-30-03, 06:56 AM   #6
pot1ent
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thanx
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Old 09-30-03, 07:16 AM   #7
Edicius
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From: o.O Tssk. O.o
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nice almost as fine as Mary jane lol^^

nice concept, .....iite vocab TITE piece, ....., flowed well...


hit some shit from me up
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Old 09-30-03, 08:50 AM   #8
Trah Siph
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From: Ingerland!
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I liked this shit, very original.............potent good verse, and Mary jane is ill, as I've said before......................................I'd like to see part 2 soon.......................................
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