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Old 09-29-03, 06:54 PM   #1
....Shab....
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InTroDucing..............MaCk

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This is a lil taste of what to come.........So get ready.........



Scorching Lyrics, Encounter Vietnam Thoughts On Torching Spirits-
Forcing-Clearance To Disregard Visions Of Dismissing Devils Remorseful-Victims-
Child Of Scriptures, Swarmed By Angels Of Hell, Slaved In Missions-
Paved-In-Visions Ruptured Mind Misplaces Scars Of Engraved-Incisions-
Bible Provokes Notion That Thou Shall Not Kill, Which Is Vowed Without Wills-
Intensions Burned To Turn Life In Directions Prowled-While-Concealed-
Existence Availed In Hell Bound Spells Dwelled To Prevail In Mind State That Failed-
Im Held Accountable To ‘Cease Cardiac’ Subsist, With Sub-Scripts Leaving MC’s ‘Heart-Felt’-
Bible Of The Fittest, ‘Looks-Past’ Holy-‘Water’, In Methods It ‘Over-See’-Crimes-
Conceit-Minds In Divine Techniques That Breech-Mine-
Bones Lay Vigorous On Solid Controlled Ground, Im Told-Now, I Can’t Hold Down What I Demand-
In Manners Of Strands, That Splits DNA From Devils Visions Of Motion, Where Do I Stand-
Child Of The Devil? Never Approach That Level In Times I Burned-
With Thoughts Of God Needing TO Learn, A Lyricist Scripture But It Wasn’t His Turn-
Its Mine, And IN My Mind, I Thought I Directed A Mastermind In Rhymes
But Lines Spilled Hard Times Of Stress That Embraces Stages I Couldn’t Incline-
So Who Am I? What Do I Believe That Leads To A Soldiers Belief Blinded By The Grief-
And Vocal Talents To Speak, Im Stuck In Neutral Knowing If I Can Be Raised Or Should I Be Praised Beneath?-
This Can’t Be Life, I will not stop, till I voice my speech-

Last edited by ....Shab.... : 09-29-03 at 07:38 PM.
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Old 09-29-03, 06:56 PM   #2
....Shab....
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That was a Lil Piece of something I keyed up...........
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Old 09-29-03, 07:35 PM   #3
....Shab....
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Upping
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Old 09-29-03, 07:39 PM   #4
WOOSHY
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failed, not much rhymed m8, flow wasnt to good, u got ideas which is good but u gotta link it all togeather map it out first
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Old 09-29-03, 07:43 PM   #5
....Shab....
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Quote:
Originally posted by WOOSHY
failed, not much rhymed m8, flow wasnt to good, u got ideas which is good but u gotta link it all togeather map it out first


Hmmmmm............You didnt understand my rhyme scheme , That's why........
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Old 09-29-03, 07:43 PM   #6
gotaloveforrap
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^^^word, u probably need to elevate some on wordplay and vocab as well, ima say try and some multis in ur verse as well, but yea i agree wit wooshy, u need to work on flow, and organize ur thoughts, then put down on paper in a way that people can understand, u got potential, so just work on them things, and keep postin and elevatin and youll get better.

yo, can u check out my latest post....
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82558
thanx

peace.....
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Old 09-29-03, 07:47 PM   #7
WOOSHY
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Quote:
Originally posted by ....MaCK....


Hmmmmm............You didnt understand my rhyme scheme , That's why........


no i think u need to work on it, i understood it & not much sence was made
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Old 09-29-03, 07:50 PM   #8
....Shab....
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Thanks man....................Anyways keep the feedback comming and help me elevate...
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