http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82736
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82831

i'm that writer with out a cause that rebel who shows flaws
with a flow pause with extended speeches leadin to over grown jaws
Hip hop to me is an expanded form of expression
My pen to me is just another poetic extention
I'm just an underated joe with high expectations
Except for my low ex deck nations and hoe neck check satations
Flow technique seperation, with the motivation
Of the last breathing poetic who got execive devotion
To one nation, whom i'll protect with my defense mechanism
And a canistar of umm, well lets just say unkown contents
Where i'll con text to contest in comp sets each with its
own conned nets followed by massive teflon nests.......

And the stats say : You're Most Like The Season Winter
Incredibly intelligent, mature and Independant
In need of settlement, factured & in some hell kid
Winter...more like that heart less regardless sinner
Winter...more liek that charecter-less re guard test sinner
And the stats say : You're Most Like The Season Winter

I'm that cold decieted season, bold re meeting the reason,
which lead to my vision, of self reawakened hurtful treason
i'm that tree son, growing my roots so the branches have
second chances after being cut off at thier ranches by
having an opinion in stances this plant is, getting outta
hand-n filled with questions answers are often demanded,
not much of a challenge, if every puzzle can be solved
and every solid can be dissolved, then mix the solutions
for this problem and get the mason basin unclogged....

And the stats say : You're Most Like The Season Winter
Incredibly intelligent, mature and Independant
In need of settlement, factured & in some hell kid
Winter...more like that heart less regardless sinner
Winter...more liek that charecter-less re guard test sinner
And the stats say : You're Most Like The Season Winter

I hear there are two hemispheres, opposite all the time
so if its summer on the north and south then for sure hell is here
thats not it its just that the end is near, its the latest trend i fear
Cause for every captured moment there is a fractured component....
Here's a 100ml glass with 50mls water ok
Now think fast with your slow learning disorder ok
Is this glass half empty? or half filled? aa i dunno
Is the earth melting? or getting chilled? aa i dunno
Well i'll tell you my friend we're in a mid way situation
With a grid way stipulation and a ripped way still is hating
Cause half is not enough, but full is too much,
A quater wont touch, over filling will make mother earth blush,
With an average day tempreture of 100 degress farienhieht
The red baron's might, sunk in the tarrif fight, so the money
stays in the economy so the country can be wealthy healty,
wow look at this whole door of randomness i'll open
each with it's own counter hinges hoping with i'll be coping
and when i read the whole truth the words'll stay on my tounge choking...

Yo son I feel you dawg, I like ya style you kan go places. you alright wit me.

ok, you overdid the vocab, that guy^ doesn't know shit, the flow was a really basic one, some of the wordplay an' meta's were str8, but some shit didn't make any sense and i think was just filler eg:
i'm that tree son, growing my roots so the branches have
second chances after being cut off at thier ranches by
having an opinion in stances this plant is, getting outta
hand-n filled with questions answers are often demanded

i mean you are good, but could be better still... 1

__________________

Ayo whats wit da disrespect dawg I giva phuk how many posts you got, or any a dat. I stated my oppinion. Dont talk shit just kuz you gotta different opinion. prolly mad kuz your post wasnt worth repling to; and your a senior member? I'm laughin at chu homie!

"ou overdid the vocab" blunt wtf?

i dropped some contrustive critisicm on yours and now wtf
u talkin about.......jesus!

upping

wow look at all the mother fuckers that returned tha favor...NONE

hey yo triplicity i think this piece was dope....
your first verse was the best i think....
i think that it kinda depleted towards the end but was still good...
maybe the only way to improve it would be nearer the end to kinda even out the lines......
yo i thought this piece was tight man... keep droppin...
yo plz return the favour..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82929

good drop
not outstanding but a good read
the first verse opened up with some nice imagery..like the overgrown jaws line
the chorus was nice as well..complimnted the verse well
second verse had some higlights and some lows...fell off in a few places with what seemed to be random rhyming stuff ..correct me if im wrong....end of it was good though
third verse was good...changeup in style kind of and questions were raised...always good...thought it was the strongest part of the verse in content and meaning
props

1st...not that its a bad thing it seems you went more for vocab than flow.. the flow wasnt quite off just a little bit.. the rest was good, mulited out!

2nd... aight here the flow was much better, and you stayed with the good vocab, this is better than 1st in my opinion

not much of a challenge, if every puzzle can be solved
and every solid can be dissolved, then mix the solutions

fav line^^

3rd...something my teachers could relate to... i like how you are trying to teach but i think this might have been the worst of the three... i just didnt see it as mixing well with the 1st 2

hook...good use of the wordplay.. nice and to the point

overall... good drop but id see about getting your structure up a notch

if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...?threadid=83050

wordplay was there,meta's were good also,nice hook,imagery was also there throughout tha peice,as Blunt said i think you used some words as fillers and to help it rhyme but tha content on a whole was good so it was a good drop,with a lil tinkerin could be even better.

Peace

thnx