I'll overload ya pain 'threshold'..
Lock u in a freezer just to keep ya 'flesh-cold'.../

I'm cold but u'll be 'colder' afta i split ya skull wit diss 'boulder'..
Leavin bits stuck to ya face like an explosion of 'solder'.../

I overdosed on coke an it rushed straight to ma 'brain'..
I went 'insaine' when shit slowed down like 'max payne'...
Then i stuck my head out the window to feel the 'acid rain'....
As this 'pain' shot down a 'main vain' i screamed 'i just dont give a fuck' as i crashed in the 'fast lane'...../

Yo dawg ur not a 'hypercondriac' ur just 'accident prone'..
Your dick rydas'll be like 'where ma dawg at' when i short circuit this 'microphone'...
It'll seem like u've 'smoked too much crack' when i burn ya face wit my 'acid tone'.../

My power of 'telekenisis' 'releases' clinical 'obeseness'..
Sending emcees mind-states back to a 'foetus' if they 'beef-this'...
Nigga you can't 'beat-this' or 'be-shit', 'bite-this' an u'll lose ya life without a 'fight-bitch'..../

An the whole world will 'diss-you'..
If ya turn ma 'facial-tissue' into a 'racial-issue'.../

So wat im white, dawg ur a wack 'liar'..
DAMN!!!, all your whitey jokes just 'backfired'.../

I'll slit you in so many 'places'..
You'll be too embarassed to look at others 'faces'.../

Man your not a 'casanova', your an 'overdoser'..
Your days just loop 'over-an-over' like a 'rollercoaster'.../

My skills of 'naration' are elevating beyond 'examination'..
So hit the 'snare-an-bass-an' pass me the mic so i can brainwash this 'racist-nation'...//

yo uppin fo comments.....
go easy i've only been rapping for about a month or so.....
WORD UP...

yo com on some one plz comment..........

peace........

not too bad of a drop, pretty good read i thought, your multies were pretty good, it flowed pretty well i thought, your content was good too, overall a pretty good piece.

and if you could return some feedback...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=83050

yo thanx dawg....
i aven't been rappin too long...a month or so.....


yo uppin fo comments

what the hell was the point of this?
gay . gay. gay.


yeah.

__________________

ha ha wat u chatin bout dawg....look at urs....
only 4 lines that weren't even that tight for someone wit3224 post an 20-10 battle record...

hey yo im uppin fo comments an critique... dont just freepost sumin wit no reasons for it or just a diss...
peace...

werd that
it was ok but i mean there was no actual point in u writing this.....had no meaning in it
which doesnt interest me

yo it was just a keystyle.....i just wrote what came to my head while i was typin man....
peace...
uppin fo more comments....

ok to be honest i think others are right about the title etc not reallt suming up tha topic,but i do feel u had some good use of vocab and afew nice punches here,flow was also alright so jus keep droppin.

Peace

Koo for sumone das only been spitten for a matter of months!
goood lookin out on cratique'n my shyt too dawg.
its wun!!!!!!!!!

thought ya had some good vocab, but wot was the topic, it was un-original and lacked feeling, although you had the flow gion in places.............................Holla

tnx fo the feed bk.. n.d.eva the topic was.....eh.....umm....dunno....wat ever was goin on in my hed at the time....really just dissin wat ever however....
peace....