Dunno...
But thought this could possibly fit in better in poetry than open mic...

But anyhow...


Daylight shines... Opening our eyes to "true" light..
Yet this truth breeds hate derived from stereotypes...
Gender, sex, age... set up barriers and baracades...
Idiots in seats of power while the rest make miniimum wage...
Image is everything... Ever seen a "thugged" manager...
Equality? How so when a woman has a job handed to her...
A whole generation held back... Elders fear evolution...
Fear of new thoughts... Fear of the power they'll be losin...
Parents feeds lies... How we'll all shine for the world to see...
Then trap us in our roles.. No advancement... total hypocracy...
Seeing the truth in people... Its like our eyes and ears fail us...
In this train of life... somehow perception always derails us...
Narrow minds run our lives.. Aided by tainted eyes...
Buying into lies from what we see... Thoughts can terrorize...
Living in this light... How can we ever truly get it right?...
Maybe the answer lies in blindness... caused by intense starlight...

we know you have a huge battle record..and you wanted
to come in here and post sommit..but before doing so can
you reply to others in the forum...its only fair..etc

id reply openmindedly but have you replied to anyone here B4?

ive skimmed over this...please reply to some other people
and I will come back to this because it just might be good
reading all the way through next time around if it happens...
deleting or editing this until its nothing would make me an ass..
which I dont mind doing but just reply to some people in here


thank you for your time and attention

I'm pretty sure this is the first peice of yours of anything I've ever read. Anyway, I'm only replying because I know you'll reply to others here. Or if not, then I could always use the +1 to my post count.

First off, excellent unobstructed flow. It would go great with a beat at nearly any tempo. Even with the lines broken in the middle, everything managed to go consistentfully smooth. The metaphor of the truth being blind light kind of went over my head. But a lot of what you said did ring true about stereotypes, being held back, fear of evolving and narrow mindfullness.

Personally I wouldn't mind seeing more of your work in here.

~Shalom~

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

Con! Babes, be nice to my buddy! I'm glad you posted in the poetry section... nice to see ya around here, haha. I told ya you could write poetry, because this does go here I believe. So, to the peice. While I could go on and on about the "equality laws" in America, I do believe that you should concider yourself lucky that this is the only thing you have to complain about. The woman thing, I totally agree on, government has more or less stacked the odds agains a middle class white male, and handed everything to a black woman, especially if she has children. It's almost like reversed forced racism, we've been talking about this in one of my classes so I have a bit to say... But the poem, I liked the vocab you used, and the way you opened with the beginning of the day and ended with "starlight" great peice, bud, lookin forward to more in this section, an thanks for the reply to mine! Peace