I command respect...and I demand that you listen...
I say stand erect...as all my soldierz stand at attention...
hand on ya head...and keep ya other hand at a distance...
I plan to be dead...because I'm living on a planet of hitmen...
we planned to be rich men...but we finally figured out...
that when in doubt...you can never trust the hand of ya henchmen...
insanity'z written...let us now pay homage to the white man and his lynchin'z...(fuck that)
once again for the men whose standing in prison...
as he passez out cigarettes he is handing addiction...
respect to the fallen soldierz and those in boot camp...
also those in the ghetto'z lightin' they house with crude lamps...
while grocery shopping with food stamps...
much reaspect due to single motherz workin' 2 jobz to barely survive...
those who are very deprived of health but still keep acting very alive..
as I look through the muralz of music visualizing a painted picture...
I start to "salute" those mentioned in the gayest topic in Sacred Scriptures...


this topic was wack...lol...I ain't feelin' it at all...

^^^pretty good... salute brings alot of ideas to mind... i think i could have worked with it...

once again for the men whose standing in prison...
as he passez out cigarettes he is handing addiction...
^^^dopest lines...

i know this aint you comin hard on a topical... but i dont understand why you wouldnt try unles you knew you were gonna be no-showed... oh well its a good read and the last line cracked me up!

peep my ss verse... its in open mic... slight of hand... i need some feedback,

I liked it, you were making a statement with that one. It lacked wordplay and structure but it's got a nice flow to it. Not one of your better pieces but keep em coming...

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What the fuck is this?

Yeah this was a good piece, it made a good read, it flowed pretty well through out the piece i thought, your vocab was good, as was your content, you had a concept too, overall this was a pretty good piece, keep dropping.

I liked this, I thought it was good

a simple flow, but it was a good drop tho

peep this open mic
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=83469

i liked this piece i don't know why you didn't you stayed on topic and it flowed real well. You had a good ryme pattern and it was an overall good read 8/10
~1~

The best part was the end...i love it when the topic is called whack...(usually is)... haha anyways yea it was alright man...if i had to be critical(don't really feel like it) I would say to keep an eye on how many lines/rhymes you've got...

"respect to the fallen soldierz and those in boot camp...
also those in the ghetto'z lightin' they house with crude lamps...
while grocery shopping with food stamps..."

the third line doesn't really have a place... not that it isn't good but at some point you have to cut....even the good ideas...

{Peace}

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^^^yeah...I agree...but that 3rd line is supposed to be read kinda fast right after thae 2nd one...kinda like what Eminem doez sometimez...it's supposed to all sound like one line...I just broke it into 2 linez so the 1st 2 linez would be structured better...