Now that you all have read a lot about me,
it's time I start showin how good I can really be//
It might be long before ya hear sumthin' go wrong,
you can tag along, or run along, just don't mess with my god damn song//
Today is Sunday and there shouldn't be much profanity, insanity, and vanity,
instead there should be christianity because damn, that's humanity//
I'll let you know something, though, I ran into a ho' with an afro,
I said he-llo a little too slow, then she went right into a strip show//
i asked her wut wuz her inspiration,
she gave me an explanation about her asian nation and said it wuz tha declaration of her education//
I asked her what she let it happen to her,
but she said her past is a blur and she would prefer just to drink some liqueur//
Then we gone to a bar in my stolen car,
tho' we didn't get too far before I realized she was a movie star//
I kicked her out, without no doubt that she would talk trash about
a mutha fuckin' brussel sprout//
That confused me at first but things could be worse
especially when I'm immersed and they're reversed//
Now it's tha middle of the day, time to play,
I'm left with nothing else to say,
just make sure you go tha' right way.

up.....

The rhyme scheme, words you used and everything was tight. I felt what you was tryin to do... My advice, just think about yo lines a little more. It seemed like you threw it together too fast. It was funny though and okay story line.

The freakin brussel sprout line killed it i think. lol

well this was a alright drop...you should try to make all your lines the same length though about so it looks and flows better...maybe add some internals to help support the flow so it flows better too...your vocab was alright...content was pretty decent..overall it was a alright drop, keep dropping.

Masta C plz dont reply ta me. I've seen ya otha posts, they say tha same exact thing, do ya feel me?

Im not hatin on you tho, i just want some real advice.