RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-08-03, 12:14 AM   #1
Mr.Christensen
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
 
Posts: 2,488
Dont Commit The Crime - TR and Dirty Sally

IP:

The Realist
The court rooms feeling intense, weight of facing the charges of my sentence
Defense lawyers impressed that I'm not charged for all the subsequent offense
With this certain judge advocate, you have to get facts because he bashes threats
I look around and see lots of guests; no contest would lower the consequence
We jump starts to the opening remarks, the jury starts to take his part to heart
Have to mumble curses because this is televised as The State Verses Bonaparte
This crime is seen world wide and most place outside America, especially Pakistan
No one plan can affect on this grand of a scale, courtrooms literally packed in stands
Evidence gained all had ample time to match the blood sample obtained at the scene
Written in short hand I'm sinking like quicksand, tried as a adult even thought I'm 18
Lawyer told me to take the stand, best cased scenario I’ll leave with a brand
Killing didn’t fulfill me, charged from the first to third degree the final decree… guilty


Dirty Sally
There's nothing I hate more than the judges face
When he smiled on my disgrace and closed the case
They're taking away my freedom and my family
My whole life as I know it the law just damned me
And there's just no avoiding incarceration I'm facing
25 to life the punishment is too stiff can't stop pacing
I'm contemplating suicide I would rather be dead
Than be a caged animal I would kill myself instead
I think of robbing and looting clubbing and killing
Up until I've self destructed I want to act a villain
I make a list of the shit I fill up a whole page quick
Like shooting the prez or bombing some agents
No sleep mind in a daze counting down the days
No longer entertain thoughts of going out in a blaze
Accept destiny surrender to fate welcome the chains
Harden my heart to this change my eyes show no pain
They tell me I'm just a number as if I'm a dumb herb
I know they prey on me always so I never slumber
So shackle me shut the cage throw away the key
I'll forget the outside world I won't long to be free...

Last edited by The Realist : 10-28-03 at 11:35 AM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 12:31 AM   #2
Whitemon
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

Ya'll up here postin', writtin' yo rhymes like you hard,
You probably ain't never been scarred,
Or seen life from behind bars,
Ya'll probably probably drive rich cars,
Only Scars you gots is from lyposuction,
'Cause you had a bad ear infucktion,
Or a chin reduction,
Now I know when ya'll read this you gonn try to come back,
Get so pissed yo lose yo color contact,
Ask the local thug to put out a contract,
I'll give you a tip I can withstand the impact, so don't try that,
'Cause then I'll come and beat yo ass with a lyrical baseball bat,

That's all I gots to say so go ahead try to beat that
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 12:39 AM   #3
Menik
Word.
 
Menik's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,017
From: Mifflinburg, PA
IP:

I liked this piece...i think you both made a real good collab...you both captured the scene pretty well i thought...it flowed nicely through out the piece as i read it...I liked how you both started your verses it was good and i liked the way Sally ended her verse very nice..overall it was a good piece, keep dropping.
Send a message via AIM to Menik Send a message via MSN to Menik   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 12:44 AM   #4
Mr.Christensen
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
 
Posts: 2,488
IP:

to Whitemon
better than what i can do
shit like that gets you banned
*idea*
oh word I moderate shit...
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 01:14 AM   #5
Artikqlit
BANNED: Bitin / Alias
 
Artikqlit's Avatar
 
Posts: 870
From: ...Philly...
IP:

Pretty Good . . .
TR: Ur Shit Flowed Ok, But Lines
Were A Bit Too Long For My Like'n
Some Nice Imagery Tho
DR: Verse Wuz Iight . . . Kinda Basic
Nd Vague . . . Few Nice Lines, I Guess

Keep Writin Ya'll
Send a message via AIM to Artikqlit   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 01:51 AM   #6
Sureal
-Real Time-
 
Posts: 1,751
From: B.C. Canada
IP:

Realist , My Boy. You're Elevating.
You Still Need Quite A Bit Of Work.
But You Will Be At The Top Soon Enough.
Nice Verse. Just Work On The Thing I
Told You To Work On , On AIM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 01:53 AM   #7
Mr.Christensen
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
 
Posts: 2,488
IP:

Realist , My Boy. You're Elevating. (the good)
You Still Need Quite A Bit Of Work. (the bad)
<--- (the ugly)

Work in progress...thank you
hey sally did somthing here 2

Last edited by The Realist : 10-08-03 at 02:15 AM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 02:11 AM   #8
Crysis
Kung Fu
 
Crysis's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,271
From: In The Hearts of Millions
IP:

Realist...all i got to say is major elevation from last time i saw your workings....

Sally....nice..bit basic but nice....flow could use some work but other than that its cool

overall i rate this peice a 7.5/10

nice work guy...and uhh...girl
__________________
<center>a.k.a Enseign</center>
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 02:21 AM   #9
Artikqlit
BANNED: Bitin / Alias
 
Artikqlit's Avatar
 
Posts: 870
From: ...Philly...
IP:

Yo, Realist Drop A Comment On My Shit . . .
I Did Here

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84165
Send a message via AIM to Artikqlit   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 10:55 AM   #10
Mr.Christensen
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
 
Posts: 2,488
IP:

3 up
2 left
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 06:49 PM   #11
Dirty Sally
Light Weight
 
Dirty Sally's Avatar
 
Posts: 266
From: Minneapolis
IP:

Thanks for the feedback. I can see how this might be hard to read without an intro, but TR you came through nicely. We should collab again sometime soon.
__________________
What the fuck is this?
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-03, 07:00 PM   #12
KingOfKings
BANNED: Cheater
 
KingOfKings's Avatar
 
Posts: 154
IP:

it's okay, kinda too basic to say tho, wouldnt hurt to put in a lil more creativity into it

good drop nonetheless

and please check out my sig
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-03, 01:36 AM   #13
Northern Touch.
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

I really liked reading this was really good piece and not to hard to write about I love your choice of words TR
Dirt Sally better flo then TR but your choice of words were more elementary...

Keep elevating and I think this piece was crazy
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:08 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.