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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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10-11-03, 04:29 AM
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#1
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Retired.
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SS Verse: Alley Ways (deepest yet)
IP:
It Begins
Born with lack of money... another bred into poverty... No father figure... no love... Nothing to satisfy me... Blind to the misery... Looking at the word with open eyes... But grew to dispise how my own hunger could paralyze... Confused youth... How to explain all these men around... One stays but visits continue... My worries abound... The fighting freezes me... I cant fathom the hatred... Find out whether happiness or rage.. the drugs had made it... Revelation on the horizon... Was I ready for the sound... Of the words that flipped my whole world upside down... "Your real father died when you were 2 weeks old...." Going insane... My so called family... All pretend... If I dont even understand myself... How can I fit in... Strive to fit the mold... Another faceless 12 year old... Statements never bold... The true story never told... Somehow peers accepted... Finally having friends... Back of the mind wondering the reaction if I filled them in... Stoicism takes over... Conforming yet hiding myself... Put on a smile but the whole time crying for help... But I must fit in... My family composed of aquantences... Removed from instabilities.. ...but still cant express myself, What a pain this is... Finally I come to terms with my existence.... Spent my life trying to meet others ideal perceptions... Little did I know I'd grow to hate the reflections... Must find a harmony... Be happy but yet true to me... Its like the world and everything was completely new to me... Acceptance is empty... If a man cant accept his reality... So time to let the truth flow... With its ultimate finality... As the knife drew close... Someone stopped my lunacy... Someone who felt my pain... Willing to work it through with me... So in truth I lost acceptance... But this love's not a faze... Foget the main streets... I'd rather exist in alley ways... |
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10-11-03, 04:42 AM
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#2
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Banned for being stupid
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IP:
damn chrit, that shit was deep, i was definetely feelin the topic and content, the wordplay and vocab were great, u had some good multis, flow was on target throughout the post, and overall ima say that shit was blazin. great job homie.
yo if u have the time can u please hit this up wit an honest vote, and if u could explain how u think i could elevate. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84781 itd be much appreciated. peace..... |
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10-11-03, 01:01 PM
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#3
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Retired.
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IP:
Uppin for some feedback
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10-11-03, 01:08 PM
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#4
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Light Weight
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IP:
That was deep, and the flow is on point. It would make a great audio track. I would love to hear that shit. Damn your good!....like whoa
__________________
What the fuck is this? |
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10-11-03, 01:28 PM
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#5
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Guest
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IP:
This was very deep.. The topic was really good but the way it was perveyed was extremely deep.. Vocab and flow was all completely neccesary for the piece.. You could up that < But that isn't any bad critisism.. Even though someone deserves some for elevation.. I can't help you out.. Apart from maybe make your flow more complex.. But you really excelled yourself with the depth of lines...
Like Waoh.. Props |
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10-11-03, 07:56 PM
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#6
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Retired.
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IP:
^^^
Thanks for the comments |
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10-11-03, 08:17 PM
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#7
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Watch And Learn
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IP:
this was deep as fuck...i saw your pic and you dont seem like someone who would write this...but this shit was tight...damn i always thought you were overrated...LoL
"The Fighting freezes me...I cant fatham the hatred find out weather happiness or rage..the drugs had made it" ^good shit peep mine... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84919 |
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10-11-03, 10:48 PM
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#8
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BANNED
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IP:
this shit was deep as hell Chrit. you is real good... i was feelin this shit the whole way through.. the content the multis the wordplay and the vocab all perfected..
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10-11-03, 11:14 PM
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#9
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Guest
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IP:
this shit hit me deep, nice vocab and word play, definitly keep those comin
nice |
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10-14-03, 03:42 PM
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#10
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Retired.
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IP:
^^^
Thanks for the comments |
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10-14-03, 03:48 PM
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#11
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Guest
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IP:
this was hot, flow and vocab was on point, good structure, dont think i could find anything wrong with it, how long you bin writing for? imma make sure i check out more of your stuff,
check this and tell me what u think, and how u think i can elivate http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=85276 |
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10-16-03, 10:08 AM
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#12
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Retired.
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IP:
^^^
Thanks for the comments |
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10-16-03, 10:23 AM
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#13
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Guest
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IP:
This shit was off the chain. I love the reality writtens, specially comming from somone with skills. If I needed I would quote the whole verse, i c no flaws yet im going to show my fav. lines....
The fighting freezes me... I cant fathom the hatred... Find out whether happiness or rage.. the drugs had made it... ^Dam..when i read that I was like Whoa.. why i didnt think of that. Stoicism takes over... Conforming yet hiding myself... Put on a smile but the whole time crying for help... ^Alot of people can relate to this, shit i can too. Gave me goosebumps. Spent my life trying to meet others ideal perceptions... Little did I know I'd grow to hate the reflections... ^DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! that second line is a classic As the knife drew close... Someone stopped my lunacy... Someone who felt my pain... Willing to work it through with me... So in truth I lost acceptance... But this love's not a faze... Foget the main streets... I'd rather exist in alley ways... ^WHOA!..that blew me away best part in entire verse. Im loving this ya flow, wordplay is perfect not to advanced nor simple, you stayed on topic. I'll vote this a Classic yet with my 50 posts they'll laugh at me.... uno. |
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10-17-03, 11:05 AM
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#14
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Retired.
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IP:
^^^
Thanks for the comments |
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