never been a fiend but lately ive been smokin-crack,
my whole fuckin world goin by me faster then open-caps,
i thought i was stable... then learned i hadda broken-back,
now the fuckin tables have turned and i leave mc's hopin-that,
they arent simoltaneously attacked by my potent-rap,
i aint braggin... but ill challenge any fagget in here,
i havva territory boarder and ive heard that u bin near,
so get outta my face or lose all your fake-teeth,
im like a fuckin butcher when i rap cause i make-beef,
its like your verse the pollution and im the solution.
cant be creative when your lost in the confusion,
ive seen supposed thugs live out a gruesome-fate,
they battle ME and then begin to hallucinate,
came 'barkin' up the wrong tree like i threw-some-steak,
you the kinda fagget that leaves families seperated,
only because u a wannabe rapper that never-made-it,

i need some feedback on this please

this is a pretty waek drop, the rhyming scheme is just too basic, 'rhyming the end word on each line'?...........you need to think more about structure and some multis and metas, etc....
your flow was ok, but that could use some elevatin aswell......overall pretty poor...............but its only criticism..peace!

one thread per day

[closed]

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she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis