this is a rough draft of an "idea" i have...just seeing what people think of it...

Ironically, happiness is quick to escape me.
Moments float by,
dancing in front of my eyes…
But im not a good dancer…I do however like slow songs

I can lose myself in the music
But I’ll find my way back…
Slow songs seem to last forever,
Looking into ur eyes, as our souls entwine.

But at the same time,
I can’t help but feel uncomfortable in the silence.
I feel the moment tempt me, yet I lose interest quickly,
There are more important issues at hand…

I caress ur hips, and u smile back,
Stroking my neck…
I wish I could remember this moment forever,
Yet my mind is elsewhere…

the "idea" is actually quite good. a description of a moment that is real, and actually happens. however, it is not at present poetry.

^"however, it is not at present poetry." Anything any words of meaning can be poetry. Doesn't have to ryme or have a complex structure. anyways. Here what we have is something I can relate to somewhat. This is based on reality and do happen. Flow was good. It was kinda simple and here it was fine because it was understandable. keep droppin, JT

this was a great idea i loved how real and down to earth it was! and the fact that it doesnt end with some one dying or crying made me happy!! this was a good short piece, love how you make things that we dont think of that often come to our minds so we relise it for what it is

~my love~

up

damn...shall i start to lay out the sheets..?