ok ok shes sitting all alone, on her couch//
reminsising about me man wondering how//
repeat on the cd, how you gonna leave me now//
you made me this way, so take it or leave it//
nice guys finish last, the playa in me you started seein//
i tried to get right, but you wouldn't allow it//
i see pussy as wieght so imma pound it//
i don't give a fuck now, you know you had it commin//
i don't touch myself, but Tboz taught me something//
did i complain when you went outta town for the weekend//
what you expect me to play martha stewart when you leavin//
hell naw put my foot out the door, and started creepin//
look in my eyes, i leave my mark on this world with me semen//
but its cool try to make me jealous//
tell me how you was out rockin fellas//
but i dont' get over zealous//
cuz you was a scholar ma, so on their mind i relish//(she sucked...)
its signed and deliverd, so just make haste//
bring one around, ill ask um how i taste//
its cool girl you go head do what you do//
cuz im packed up and walkin, fuck about u//

__________________
MATCH.........GOT U



Vote @ http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=114041



you new to RB, man bet you get dissed alot//
if you was a child molest youd still get dick alot//
what is you confused cant member which team you be with//
i know you shirts old navy but your mouths on seamen//

This was nice... vocab was decent... not to flashy... kinda simplistic... probably sound good in audio... there was one line that needed work though... the line...

you made me this way, so take it or leave it//
nice guys finish last, the playa in me you started seein//

I think it would've sounded better if it went...

you made me this way, so take it or leave it//
nice guys finish last, the playa in me you started 'to see and'//
i tried to get right, but you wouldn't allow it//

that's just my opinion... and that's what we here for right... peace

thanks son, nice tosee sum love and CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISIM

__________________
MATCH.........GOT U



Vote @ http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=114041



you new to RB, man bet you get dissed alot//
if you was a child molest youd still get dick alot//
what is you confused cant member which team you be with//
i know you shirts old navy but your mouths on seamen//

ok, pretty low and lame that was.

very very simple, played topic, no vocab, not multis but the flow was there. i suggest you go to whackness emergency area to get some tutorials or look on the net for tutorials. at least you didnt chat about guns, the most played object in hip hop at the minute.

I DONT KNOW I THOUGHT SIMPLE FORMAT AND SIMPLE WORDPLAY MADE THIS A VERSE THAT WOULD BE RADIO FRIENDLY AND CATCH ATTENTION ....TO TAKE A COMPLEX EMOYION BUT EXPLAIN IN SIMPLE MIND WAS PRETTY GOOD WORK....STAY UP YPU GOT POTENTIAL