androids count electric sheep while they're sleeping
science fiction addiction till my world understands its evil
a societal vacum that blooms a blacke hole flower
and defy's your faculties for dissent to attract more believers
i slouch within an iron deficiency to admire
the wires fine craftmanship that rely on my tension
dragging my feet within this city catching_ the crumbs
from a protaganist dropping his daily bread to remember me
these clammy hands take grain of sand experiences within a callased skull
and under the pressures of the day to make it something valuable
self worth and relationships on glass emotions
I'm trying to balance it all
how many times have I hit the sack foreshadow boxing time
clocks until i take one on the jaw for the snooze button
i dont wanna be a puppet, corporate trojan workhorse/
emotional social discord inside the belly of an equestrian
my pocket watch works orange/
but it's just another icon to acknowledge my torment
i had a brush with death, but still couldnt paint my demise
and with what little substance was left, threw my rope ladder
towards the sky
supports die shortly after they go crooked
it's sad in iowa you define hope by fortune cookies
define focus by the braided torsos of dormant wookies
who dropped this brick where the corn grows for border patrol cushions
for social ignorance with my pygmy protocol shimmering
off the local dissonance bigorty culture bred in captivity
glossy nerves numb frost bit endurance vocals with a
vintage fit while tongues lick salt fed to crash dignity
it's a stretch to sculpt pretty things
I'd rather break walls and laugh at the stumped look of the wardens
pesticides kill all the fish in this stream
as the fields run off hand in hand with evolutions poison

pardon my typos and lack of iambic pentameter...

Honestly this piece was great....I'll get back on it...i have to jet but much respect and i'll post something tomorrow on it..

werd

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

This was great! Had such an Asimov feel to it...well to me anyway lol My Dad is a huuuuge Asimov fan so I love works such as this...
The opening line was perfect, there is no way I could not keep reading.. The subtle cliches and nuances were so well placed and never over used.. They didnt distract from your piece in the slightest.

i dont wanna be a puppet, corporate trojan workhorse/
emotional social discord inside the belly of an equestrian
my pocket watch works orange/

This is really cleverly written.
I dunno why people are sleeping on it..

Kudos know1.

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Androids dream of electric sheep. Clockwork Orange. If I'd known more sci-fi I could probably note more titles and stuff. Gotta admit though, you certainly know how to weave those things in their so they work. That takes talent.

And dont' mind your typos and iambic pentameter, or whatever that is. No one seems to care.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

sleepers are all that exist... theywill die soon though

haha...no worries i get slept on like crazytown...I think cause they think im weird...or ugly...or retarded..not cool..unclassy..a sucky mod.. and what not....live with it..dope piece though....

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)