I need you to take your time on this
Take my gunnin words to your heart and let them hit
I created this poem to manipulate your mind.
I hope you can relate why I hesitate to simply uncover it all.
Take your time, don’t debate but concentrate
while I elaborate about my feelings inside.
I will try to show the relation about this world and your heart and soul combination.
It will take your upmost concentration maybe rehabilitation to let you see our exsistence is our own creation.
Let me take you by the hand and let our thoughts land on a level or hearts can understand.
Here we stand… answers on our deepest questions is what we demand.
Trying to comprehend what we just cant bend.
trying to find a way to vent the frustration till the very last end.
Finding your own words are in contradiction with the truth.
claiming that you are the only one that is misunderstood.
pointing fingers to the rest "he is up to no good ".
it’s all to big to have in all in lock … so let me say it simple :
this world has to much problems in stock.

this piece seems sorta like a writers block moment, that you took and played with. you had a main idea in your head, and just started writing not really know where you were gonna go. And it ended up a pretty good piece. your rhymes didnt seemed forced, i didnt really notice them the first time throu. the flow was there, and so was so good structure. emotion wasnt a big part in this, but it didnt really effect it any i thought. mostly for a simple message, and you got that across

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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thanks fo the comments
really appreciate it
still uppin fo some more

i agree w/ filed, it does seem just like empty writings, but those
are the ones that get you to write again... if you just give it a little
push sometimes.... overall it was a decent read... the problem
i seen with it was that you put too many big words with nothing
to back them up... you structure was good except for that part
in the middle that had the extremely long lines but it worked out
in the end.... Keep Writing.

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<BR><h3><color=black><center><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=left LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 width=300>*~*~*Lady Wun*~*~*</MARQUEE></color></center></h3>
<BR>
<BR><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=up LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 height=100> <center><font color=000000><I>*~*~*~*~*</p>I'm invisible to the unseen eye</p>I'm undeniable strength</p>*~*~*~*~*~*</p>Merk Squad</MARQUEE></center><I>

hmmm i actally felt like in a porno or something...like you were trying to suduce me into believing you...a cult...freaky right...well i thought the piece was decent nothing groundbreaking but for sure a decent read..

-1-

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)