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Old 11-03-03, 03:02 PM   #1
FanTa ZeE
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Hear My Voice

IP:

~: Hear My Voice :~
Crushed in the palm of a man heartily desired,
Everything i owned viciously stolen from my reach,
Childish dreams of happiness painfully backfired,
He only left me with the power of my speech.

Sweet beliefs i carried safely locked away.
Deep within the whirlwind that is my mind.
Untouched by any other, for if i were led astray,
New hope should be an easy thing to find.

My voice will rise victorious if i have time to heal my wounds,
I will recover from every punch you connect on me,
I will not be the helpless victim, dying behind the silence,
I will not be reduced to tears for you to see.

They can put me in a prison cell, they can beat me till i bleed
still the only bit of privacy i have will never fade
For i am the chosen one, keeper of my own key,
And from each dawn sprouts a wonderous new day.



uppin for feed ppl.
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Old 11-03-03, 03:39 PM   #2
filed
Sharp Perfection.
 
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Posts: 450
From: HELL!!....and yet you think im jokin
IP:

hey girl, its been awhile, good to see you dropping your great stuff again!!!

this piece when i started reading i thought it was going to all being going down hill, but it didnt it surprised me, and i liked it.
it had a good sence that i can do anything that i want to do and you cant bring me down or stop me. it was very lighting.

Your vocab in this piece fit well, didnt over do it, and it discribed things nicely. The flow worked and sounds good also. structure was a basic, but it didnt effect it any.

thought it was a good, soul rising piece!!

~Tera~
DONT HATE
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~
keep singing in heaven
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Old 11-03-03, 10:40 PM   #3
Smooth JT
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IP:

It is good to see you again gurl, i've been out for a min or 2 but i'm back too. This peice had a good meaning and inspiration to those who need it or just need a cherfull peice. It's always a please to read what you have to say and you'll always have my respect no matter what goes up or down. Member hun, Through the battles of life always keep your head up and you'll triumph over anything. Much luv and utmost Respect JT
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Old 11-04-03, 08:07 AM   #4
The Necromancer
Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
 
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Posts: 817
From: Cottage Grove, Oregon
IP:

I'm not going to say anything except... I really really enjoyed reading this.

Also...

~Shalom~
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Old 11-04-03, 12:05 PM   #5
FanTa ZeE
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IP:

thanks a lot, filed my gurl, keep on changing those avas!

its true you aint heard a lot from me lately, you could say i've been rushed off my feet. Its nice to know that people remember you and have luv for you when you do come back. Much praise to y'all.

JT thanks so much for your respect, god damn it, i luv ya so much, i cant help it, i just want you to know that i'm always here for you, no matter if im on RB or not, fact is i got luv for ya dawg! and it means a lot to me.

Necromancer thanks for the feed, did you only say you really enjoyed it because you felt it needed nothing else? lmao, thanks homie, there for you!
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Old 11-04-03, 02:15 PM   #6
FanTa ZeE
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uppin for mo feed
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Old 11-04-03, 03:04 PM   #7
DaGyrlRemarqabL
..A New Breed of Femcee..
 
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Posts: 454
IP:

Hey Gyrl...
This was a great piece, simple yet very meaningful and touching..I LOVED the message in it, and even though it had some negative references, the overall attitude was positive, and that's sort of rare.

I especially liked the third and fourth stanzas, and the last line was beautiful..

Very well written, Dee..
You have lots to offer this forum..
Stay up! Nice drop.
Pz.
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Old 11-05-03, 11:52 AM   #8
FanTa ZeE
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IP:

wow that means such a lot coming from someone with as much talent as you have, you continue to bring this room greatness. Thanks ppl!
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Old 11-08-03, 04:39 AM   #9
FanTa ZeE
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IP:

n e 1 else care to drop a comment?
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Old 11-08-03, 06:10 AM   #10
Split-eyez
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Posts: 381
From: up yo ass
IP:

wow gurl, nice piece
seriously
I loved how it had his own meaning and how it wasn't brought in a played out way, it's a great message ur puttin out there
all I've to say, keep droppin, I luv readin ya pieces and keep ya head up eventhough every day may seem like a struggle.
1 Luv
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