his fingers on the small of my spine.. getting all tingly inside.. wanting back what used to be mine.. its all something i cannot hide.. standing face to face, staring in one anothers eyes.. my heart starts to race.. but its hard to tell whether this is reality or all lies..his body pushing against me.. as we fall onto the bed.. i didnt just want to leave this be.. all this shit was running through my head..he slowly starts to kiss my lips as he runs his hands down my sides… I start to sense his fingertips slowly moving inside.. we never knew those feelings were still there.. we thought we gave them up.. then I found out he really cared.. all this shit makes my brain erupt.. when I got home that Sunday night, your all I could think about.. I wasn’t sure if it was wrong or right.. or how everything would turn out.. then you said “I love you” once more, and I was scared to think it was true.. but the sad thing is.. im afraid im falling back in love with you too…

nice, simple short
the emotions seem sincere
the rhyme was elementary to me
BUT it fulfills my definition of poetry
try upping the vocab and adding complexity to the word play
it'll make your piece stronger and bring the message across deeper
keep elevatin

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Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."

This was felt. The emotion is there and it's easy to follow. Doesn't have to be complex to have a meaning or a moral. Good job keep postin, JT

Great drop. I felt that once before. The structure was ok, but it would look a little better spaced out and not one big paragraph. It would be even easier to follow. The meaning was very heartfelt, and believe me, I went through that a lot. Best thing to do is try and trust him once again, and if u can maybe you will be able to love him slowly once again. Overall, great job. Keep your head up, and keep droppin. Much respect.

i liked reading this and the only thing i think could have been
left off was the too at the very end... you had great structure
and your vocab was on point...you had raw emotion which took
up for all the things you can put into poetry to spice it up....
you painted an image of something we all probably can relate
to so its easy to understand and see where you where at here.
Keep Writing.

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hmm...really simple piece not sure if i liked it...But im a mod so heres some constructive critism.....Decent piece i actually like the paragrapgh format everyonce in a while...Easy reading....You tried to dig deep on this subject but i think you feel short with your lack of intense words and simple rhyme structure....im not huge into the romance of things i like things that are dirty...hmmm i need a frosty.....

-1-

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great piece. was easy to relate to and was felt in the heart. the structure needs some work. space it out and not have it in a big paragraph. it would look better. other than that great piece. keep droppin.

MM

Wow.. i can definitely relate to this. I can feel every line in this because it happens to a lot of girls. The description in it is great, and you can tell in the feelings that at first you're reluctant.. and then.. you're kinda thinkin about it. I feel this man.. I really do. I can't even describe how good I think this is. Very nice piece.

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