This is the 1st dis ive ever done..tell me what i need to work on

http://www.soundclick.com/bfire

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A legend, hah, i spit venom, blow holes in your sean jean phat farm denim - Tragedy Khadafi

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dont sleep

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A legend, hah, i spit venom, blow holes in your sean jean phat farm denim - Tragedy Khadafi

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jus wonderin

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ok..this aint fair, i've always peeped other ppls music wtf is up wit dat?

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A legend, hah, i spit venom, blow holes in your sean jean phat farm denim - Tragedy Khadafi

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Yo this just isn't that tight to me. Sounds like some old school Vanilla Ice. Delivery is just bad, lyrics need a lotta work. Just feedin back. Positive: You were on beat for the whole cut. Seems like you tryin ta sound hard and aren't pullin it off. My suggestion, slow down yer delivery a lil' bit, work on some harder lyrics and work on your mic presence...don't think i'm talkin shit, i wouldn't have gave any feedback but no one else was, so hopefully you can take this the right way and work on gettin tighter...1

bitches sleep......... anyways sounds not so good...... work on your flow DRASTICALLY.. althought your beats arent half bad.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=89945