fgee
Baron God
Walter Wall

Sittin' in front of this computer screen Thinkin' of words to write Wit blurs of light Travellin' thru my doorway The curves of night
Often become obsurd and bite But not so often do I bite back
Hold on a minute I'll be right back ... Had to go get a night snack
When U read this ... No need to write back Im juss typin' my mind
About as lost as the person inside of me that is writin' these lines
Twice did I find ... That Im far from perfect ... Covered with sin
While my mother is in ...
The kitchen discussin' the death Of her lover w/ the brothers of him ...
But me ... Im the greedy type ... Never was one 2 hand out love
Or even sympathy
Often on my knees at the altar ... Askin' God wat has gotten in2 me
And when he sent to me ... A letter addressed to his son
A young one
I read ... "Dear Mr. Nobody ... Ur perfect" I stopped readin'
... Cuz Im someone

Blah ... Anotha key ... Juss felt like writin ... Let me get some feedback

Keystyle...... and it was fuckin dope cuz. Flow was Ill, damn dog, every bit of it was ill. Multi's, imagery.. this piece was excellent. I honestly don't see a damn thing wrong with it. I would quote the best lines.. but I'd hafta quote the whole thing. You showed me somethin in this piece dog, i'ma be sure to look for more of ya drops.

Since I can't point out the best line.. here's my favorite:

And when he sent to me ... A letter addressed to his son
A young one
I read ... "Dear Mr. Nobody ... Ur perfect" I stopped readin'
... Cuz Im someone
^^ The depth of that last line. . . Like findin ya self, loved that shit.

Dope Cuz.. real Dope.

-Formula.

**Mind droppin some feedback?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=89771 Greatly appreciated... By the way.. maybe we could do a Collab sometime.. lemme know aight?**

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Good flow and it was a easy read
but the content had much to be desired
The conclusion was near dope, but the rest seemed like nothing but filler
But some more depth
and cohesiveness to the entire piece
and Itll have good potential
keep droppin

hit up my open mic entitled Maturity, thx

Yea I feel you ... I didn't spend much time on this ... Wasn't meanin' for it to be perfect ... Juss was bored ... But thanks for the replies ... Peace

my fav. line was

while the mother is in...
the kitchen discussin the death of her lover with the brothers of him

that's not the exact line I don't think...but that area was fuckin dope....I can't copy and paste for some reason or else I'd copy the whole thing prolly lol....niceness duke...keep it up

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<center> I.J.L</center>

For not spending a lot of time on it..not bad at all..but it was kinda dope..just work on it a little for something more serious..aight peace