ok i was bored earlier and decided to write...this is what i came up with, it aint nothing real serious, just me fucking around...peep it and leave me some feeback...

verse 1:
MonStar annihilate fools, i'm quick to cause murder
but this aint ja rule screaming, my 'ink' will serve ya (its murdahhhhh)
i'm crazy as hell, Star got multiple personalities like d-12
snatch up bobby knight so i can choke a coach like spreewell
leave your body mangled laying next to a bloody seashell
the word about Star spreading faster than a virus email
i bring death in the form of ink, bring death before you blink
and yea i'm disturbed, shit was confirmed by my shrink (fucking psycho)
Star 'll clown ya, surround ya with my talent that'll astound ya
words 'll ground ya, there like a rope that wraps around ya (ahh i'm choking)
i'm immortal, while ya'll pop rappers nothing more than a cute fad
Star 'smoke' emcees, my face gonna be in the next 'the truth' ad
you say life's a bitch?, well watch as my lead will end her
have shit oozing out ya neck like a fucking pez dispenser
star shits on emcees so much that i'll fuck up the plumbing
masturbate on a polygraph to show you the truth is cuming

hook:
this is me just clownin, flows wet enough to drown in
only way you getting in the game is defense and rebounding
i'm the human headache, i'll get your fucking head pounding
cause this is me just clownin, this is me just clownin....(2x)

verse 2:
punk these kids, catch you on the edge and i have to push ya
watch ya moms cause Star a mother fucker like ashton kutcher
best?, nope but i'm not to far, jesus loves the lil children, but fuck not Star
"hey kid, you want some candy?", now get ya ass in this stolen cop car
yea i'm kidnapping your kids, i'm gonna hold them for ransom
not gonna pay?, well i hope you think bullet holes look handsome
i'm illness in the form of a infection, vampire, i cast no reflection
weld pens as weapons, Star recalling dudes deals like the cali election
Stars so amazing, i'm colder than the snow that i froze ya face in
i paint vivid pictures with words, i'm like a bat spitting echo location
fuck a soldier i'm a commando, stab you in the abdomen with a acme anvil
you wacks get trampled, Stars a 'vet', watch how these 'cats' be handled
Star's solo i handle my own, stay away you dont wanna enter a cannibals home
bitch i'll snatch out your mandible bone, fuck grill, Star's got a flammable dome
i cause murder and rapture, i'm nothing more than a perverted bastard
determine a factor, Star here to lead yall sheeps to those greener pastures

hook:
this is me just clownin, flows wet enough to drown in
only way you getting in the game is defense and rebounding
i'm the human headache, i'll get your fucking head pounding
cause this is me just clownin, this is me just clownin....(2x)

verse 3:
Star always fresh, why ya'll dudes more played out than giga pets
only way yall ever getting a deal is buying bootlegs over the internet
emcees is soft anymore, got me feeling like i've battled the muppets
Star splatter your brain on the wall just like some shadow puppets
bitch i'll sink your ship, Star nuttier than a sack filled with sea men (semen)
i'll shackle your breathing, fuck a question the answers a beating
i'm raps hannibal, i'll eat ya brains, yall not on my level like defeets ya name
i bring heat, i throw beef to flames, spit fire till nothing but ya teeth remain
Stars cocky as fuck, why yall dudes just timid and complacent
i'm just way too ill face it, Star connect points like i spit adjacent
each of my book of rhymes thicker then 10 wallets, Star spits flawless
i'm ending dudes careers, wont rebound cause they not ben wallace
yall fuckas think you giants in rap?, well the chrome stops tallness
rappers acting soprano like they work for the home box office
i spew flames, Star be giving these dudes the sweats in winter
my jerseys all got the number 8, like i'm a fucking sex offender...yeah (kobe)

hook:
this is me just clownin, flows wet enough to drown in
only way you getting in the game is defense and rebounding
i'm the human headache, i'll get your fucking head pounding
cause this is me just clownin, this is me just clownin....(2x)

"thats a million dollar rhyme right there"

that lil outro line^ is from malibu's most wanted...

hit me up with some feeback...

oh yea heres three open mics i left feedback for
Tökën - Parental Guidance
LM - Mom I'm sorry
fgee - Sunk!?

dope lol
funny shit
like your style son...plenty of good lines
the one about ashtun kutcher was funny as fuck.few others too
didnt plan on reading it but got sucked in
good shit
like the way u continue atheme beyond what the reader expects
props

^thanks for the feedback

upping like a mofo

Yeah i agree this was pretty good....flow was on point through out it i thought, didnt get off at all really....your vocab was nice, nothing wrong there...You structured it well i thought also...i liked the kobe lol, it was pretty funny...overall it was a good piece...keep at it...and keep dropping.

as usual your stuff is well thought delivery ic consise and on point

thanks for the feedback everybody...

uppin like a mofo for some more...

up up and away

that was dope as fuck, it was funny as well, marks outta 10 id give 10 , gd work!!!

it seemed like you put thought into this, your structure was good, some nice vocab and lines,and thought it was a good length, good to see a full track, with a nice hook........peace dawg.......

Yeah for just clowning around..that was well thoughtout..multis and flow were good..I was feeling it!

thanks for the feedback...anyone else wanna leave some?

This was a pretty funny piece. Some lines don't fit there at all, but others made me laugh. You have a nice style, shit was pretty dope. I liked this joint, but please, you still have some problems on the flow. Work on it.

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

good full-length song,chorus and all.U got sum nice vocab and tha bars fit real nice 2getha and had me readin the whole thing all into it.I can tell u gotta grimey style,which is alwayz hot long as its fresh.Keep writin,Stay ^
-Avi

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=90380

Yo, this shit was really tight, liked the whole concept etc. If this was just you clowning, then why the fuck u on this site? Haha! Keep dropping . Peace

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Proclaimed to the name 'IgnoRance'
from illness 'DeliVerence'

i magine what you could do if you was seriuos