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Old 11-07-03, 11:18 PM   #1
~RaPiDfIrE~
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From: E-Dub
Questions....

IP:

replied to Twizted Angel, Girlremarqable, and rule...

What if my pen could speak, what would it say?
Would it give meaning to the songs I write everyday?
If I never discovered the truth, how would I feel?
Would I think she was lying, or would I still think it's real?
Would I have finally seen the test for the pregnancy?
Or would I still believe I'm adding more to my legacy..
By bringing a human life into this Earth?
If my heart was for sale then how much was it worth?
Was it worth all your time, all the bullshit and tears?
And what else was u lying about, since we sittin here?
Do you remember are arguments? I'll be damned..
You're the first female I met that can make a pussy from a man.
When u was with that guy, kissin, fuckin, lickin his sac up..
Was u cheating on me....or was I always the backup??


shit...I can't get my shit out right....iono...maybe I'll get it right later
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Old 11-07-03, 11:24 PM   #2
Twizted Ayngel
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I like this.. maybe it's because I know what its about, maybe it's because I was talking to you while you were writing it.. I dunno.. Theres something about it that hits me. I know, and I can tell by reading it, that you didn't get it all out... but there is a lot of feeling in it. Mostly anger, maybe some resentment.. I really like the begining.. because I like how you worded it, and then I like the end because it looks like that's where you put most of your anger into. The feeling wasnt consistent throughout the whole piece.. it was like the hurt was in the beginning, and then you just got angry.. I like this though, it's too Short for me.. because I know you coulda done more about it.. done more in it.. It was deep though.. the anger part of it.. but I think you could've put more of the hurt in it. I know you were hurt, you should have worked that into it more. Overall though, this was a good piece to get emotion out into. The flow was good too.. the wording, very nice.. good job hunni.
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Last edited by Twizted Ayngel : 11-08-03 at 08:24 PM.
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Old 11-07-03, 11:27 PM   #3
~RaPiDfIrE~
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From: E-Dub
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^ yea....I know I coulda did better and I will..I'll write an epic on the shit one day lmao...hopefully if I don't suck too bad...

thanx though
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Old 11-08-03, 08:23 PM   #4
Twizted Ayngel
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uppin this for him...*
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Old 11-09-03, 02:02 PM   #5
Da NFamous
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^Will you marry me? Lol this joint was crazy, i didnt like the setup for the last line but most of the rest of it was classic, very enjoyable, and i didnt feel it was cutoff but i dont know wtf you are talking about so maybe thats why, great joint, keep droppin, 1luv.
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Old 11-09-03, 09:06 PM   #6
Av1r3x
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short but sweet.It sounded like a way to vent ur feelings for alotta sh!t goin on.Either way i enjoyed it.Stay ^
-Avi
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Old 11-09-03, 09:38 PM   #7
~RaPiDfIrE~
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From: E-Dub
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iono if I wanna marry anybody right now...maybe ayngel if she's real nice to me tho....lol

thanx for the replies...trust this will be the worst poem u ever see from me lol...my heart wasn't in it fully...but if u like this then I guess it's a good sign of the next ones I write...

peace
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