Responded to; DthsMissingAngel, ~RaPiDfIrE~, BrokenWings

I sat with you for two weeks, Dad, you were bad,
I couldn't decide whether to be sad, or even mad,
After the doctor told us you probably would die,
I cried out all the tears I could cry from my eyes,
I couldn't face the family, I went out with friends,
I thought about our life together, this couldn't be the end,
Then I had to go to the hospital, nothing could prepare me,
For the tubes I saw, and my knees just impaired me,
Losing my family was the only thing that scared me,
Im facing my fears now, I'm facing losing you,
Without you I really dont know what the familys gunna do,
You mean a lot to me, even though I know we fight,
I know I dont show it all the time but I need you in my life,
I need to have the chance to just tell you how much I care,
I need to tell you how much I really need you there,
They didnt expect you to live past a certain day,
I didnt always have a strong belief in God, but all I did was pray,
I told him "God, please don't let my daddy die, I need him,
I know the chances of him are living are really slim,
but my life will be nothing without him living in it,
I cant live without him, and now I'll really admit it,
I promise I'll do better, wont disrespect him anymore,
I promise I won't treat him bad like I always did before,
Oh god please... please just let my daddy live..."
And now I'm thanking him, because that's what he did.
For a while there though, I didnt think you would...
Daddy, you're alive, and things are different, but good,
You're fine now, you're alive, you're doing well..
You being better makes up for those two weeks of hell.

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^ yea I read this while u was doing it...

in my opinion it's flawless..sums up the entire feeling u had...and even made ur mom cry...that's fucking amazing lol...

I really don't have any critique for this....I'm not much of a poet anyway so I can't say much....other than I enjoyed this ish...keep it up n maybe u'll get back to how u used to be

peace

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<center> I.J.L</center>

that was deep and full of compassion, glade that you and ya father are doing fine.

God bless fa sho

nice piece
glad to know ya fatha is doing betta now
I guess situations like these just make you see how much you need that particular person in your life
keep droppin cuz I enjoy readin ya shit
1luv

Yeah, my dad's doing fine now. I let my Aunt and My Mom read this poem and they both sat at the table bawling their eyes out. That's all this poem was for, basically. Was just to get the emotion out, and get how I felt out. This is the only way I can express myself WELL, so I knew it needed to be done. Thank you for all the feedback, its very appreciated.

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I really enjoyed this. I wrote something similar to this, but i didnt post it. I can totally relate to it, and the same thing happened with my dad. I'm now working overtime to pay his bills and I still take care of him. I did the same exact thing that you did. I didnt believe in prayin, but i prayed for his life. I prayed and i got those same results.

If you want the analyzation of it. The structure was great and so was the rhyme scheme. I loved it overall. One thing tho, you dont have to post who you all responded to. We can look that up in ur info. But if ya want, u can still post it. Great job overall. Keep droppin. Much respect.

Thanks ^ yo...

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Well written, nice flow and emotion well shown. Deep and real.

Drop some mo~

...thankz yo. itz appreciated.

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wow, i could really see how you felt here. you let all ur feelings out, and it brought emotion to others, at least to me. I've always wondered what it'd be like or how I would react when it'd be my dads time to leave, b/c hes all i have. but i look at what you wrote and it seems like the worse thing that could possibly happen. the rhythm was excellent and u had a good use of words. all in all, excellent drop.

Thanks yo.. I let my dad read it.. we sat there and cried for a long time... and my mom and my aunt cried when they read it too.. so i guess they were feeling it the same way I was.. I'm glad you felt what I was saying, and I'm glad everyone liked this. Thanks yo.. i appreciate the feedback a lot.

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heartfelt poem,really deep.Best wishes to u and your family, I have an idea of how u feelin right about now.It jus goes to show prayer is very powerful,and from ur verse i can tell u look @ it from a different perspective.Keep writin,Stay ^
-Avi

^-Thanks yo

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I felt this deep down and it hit hard because my family just went through some major stuff. Some test showed that my father needed a heart transplant but they weren't total sure. After all the testing and bull that went to see what was wrong wit him he was still bad but didn't need it. Just needed to eat healthy and eat right. It doesn't matter what structure people use or if it rymes. As long at it lets you feel the emtion, which it did and for that Respect JT

Yup yo.. i hope erything works out for you. Thanks for peepin this... much love..

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