A White Boy Actin Black, So Kids Love To Hate
He's Told His Style Is Wack, As The Kids Continue To Descriminate
Full Of Pain, The Boy Keeps Quiet And Continues His Life
He's Called Wigger For A Name, Anger In Him Is Now In A Rife
His Spark Has Been Lit, As Murder Goes Through His Mind A Little Bit
He's Sick Of All Tha Shit, He Juss Wishes These Kids Would Quit
Anger At Boiling Point, And Yet No One Still Conceives
Smokes A Joint, To Stimulate Tha Mind As He Believes
Blazed Off Dope, He's Ready To Get Even
Conceals A Rope, To Stop What Kids Are Believin
As The Kids Continue The Hate, He Hangs Himself
Destroy's His Fate, With Out Askin For Relentless Help
Now He's Dead, Hate Decreases To A Lower Rate
Kids Think In There Head, We Caused This Tragedy Due To Hate




My First Topical In A While
And I Seriously Need Elevation
I Kno That So Dont Hate To Bad

__________________

Son you callin me whack and you know you suck dick...

that was kinda deep yo i give u a 8/10

Yo Fat Boy
Dont Start Talkin Shit
If You Got Somethin Ta Say
Call Me Out Then!
I'll Lyrically Rip (What LITTLE Skill You Got) Apart

__________________

When that happens, Ja will beat 50 nigga. you don't know me, my skills, or none of that shit, and you for damn sure can't beat me. when you want me to mop the floor wit ya boy?

Stop Hatin Homo
Not Bad For A First
Could Use Sum Improvment
But Not Bad None The Less
Short.. Make The lines Shorter.
And Direct

Hit Up Any 3 Of My Pieces

ayo aus you seen what i did wit g. butters right? and you know how i kill right? let him know... he fuckin wit the livest

dat shit was iight but u gotta hit niggaz were it hurts baby one
-100-
Supreme

wasnt great,but wasnt bad,
espcially as its your first topical for a while,
in some places the flow was good,
but in some it felt off,
like you tried squeezing a extra word in here and there that didnt really go,
rhymescheme was ok but could do with a little work,

overall average drop.but keep writin and you will improve..

peace

Yeah whateva..ain't bad ain't bad..work on your multis yo..peace

Ay man. Don't worry bout dem haters man. They jus tryna get unda ur skin. Dis was a nice piece. It was deep and had great emotion in da rhyme. U told a good story in dis piece. Short but sweet.

Actually Yo......
This is a true story
My boy Robby *RIP*
Got called a wigger so much
And he would literatly get jumped for actin black

This year he hung himself
Because he got sick of all the shit he was goin through


And yo keyes.... i kno you
Matter a fact, i almost fucked ya cousin Angela
You can't say i dont kno you, i kno enough bout you

__________________

yo man the was DEEP.....
i was feeling ya man on this....
not bad For a first ya structure was Good......
ya flow was Nice man so all round not bad for a first......
Keep it Dropin man..
...P.€.a.c.€...

AY dawg i liked the shit cuz thats how shit happens, everyone thinks that man was in the wrong but they don't see it was the prep fags with money that don't know shit about havin to do shit on they own, or mother fuckin havin to hustle to eat, everythings just handed to them, holdem down n do what cha do

reply to three other open mics and post links to your replies or this thread gets deleted.
thanks.

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis