replied to:
riff raff feat. Ken Dawg
Omens present: the jerk off
full circle *deep peice**

Now Introducing....................................... .................A.T.


All it takes is... one time............. one drop.... to fuck everyone and anyone over....

aiyo,
I've done made an educated guess in the account of this stress,
cuz obviously its eatin me alive like a disease that wont repress,
My babies in the bed, waitin to conceive and Im just not ready for this mess,
This shits playin in my head like a lost confession so Im stressin on this test,
Its got me playin boggle in my brain and waitin for its recession up front,
I've found a solution in a bottle and like an empty beer cans I'm drunk,
But still this fear can cause me to turn gray before I can return to my senses,
All this shit is senseless, and I've come to the realization that all this shit is endless,
At the end of the day I look and try to figure out what all I've done right,
But the worst of it all comes to derrange my thoughts and keep me awake all night,
and so I think...


<hook 2x>
All it takes is one time and just merely a drop...
& ten minutes of pleasure aint worth all the heartache you'll cause,
So think 'for you act and focus on the future lied beneath you,
Cause in all honesty you never know if that girl will ever leave you...


Lately I've been nothing but broken down, mostly frownin and powting,
Mixing drinks, smoking and popping pills have got me feeling all drowsy,
In the mornings I'm rowdy, irritable and you'd probably call me an ass and bitchy,
But to solve what you think I swallow all of my "drink" until my 32 oz glass turns empty,
I'm normally a practical man but its the ways of the world that have drove me to mad man,
Decisions turn rash and whats worse than that is the aftermath of my last glass of Purple Passion,
I've found out from my own accounts that runnin from your problems in just wont solve em,
So today I'ma dad and I'm glad to be a family and as for my son, I'm glad that I got em,
Now I think back and laugh at the times I used to be so worried and selfish,
I just couldnt help it, I mean what was I to do when all of this bullshit turned overwhelming,
and I think...


<hook 2x>
All it takes is one time and just merely a drop...
& ten minutes of pleasure aint worth all the heartache you'll cause,
So think 'for you act and focus on the future lied beneath you,
Cause in all honesty you never know if that girl will ever leave you...



this is dedicated to any teenagers who have a kid on the way,
dont worry... God wouldnt give you more than you could handle...
~Ashy~

nyce peice dawg i was feelin ya cause mi sisters frends r pregnant
and have a kid comin

Aiight Nyce Shit Dawg Peace (v)

Flow fell off in places. Vocab was good. Got it's message across despite some flow troubles. Try evening your lines and don't force shit out, some of it seemed forced as I reading, like you were tryin to hard to get the rhyme out, know what i'm sayin? Hook was OK, the first bar coulda rhymed. Just work on tweakin the flow a bit, lil more wordplay. Nice drop tho.

-Formula.

uppin

**exhales slowly**
another up

I liked the meaning behind it... kinda inspired by 2pac's
(Brenda's got a baby) an styles.P (Listen) ... I disagree wit Formula, it worked for me an I did'nt see anything wrong wit the hook... I feel it's very constructive an delievered well... flow was good an topic on point

good line this- "I've done made an educated guess in the account of this stress,
cuz obviously its eatin me alive like a disease that wont repress"

uppin'

thanx for the feed fund...
uppin
~AshY~

**sings**
movin to the top cause Im..... UPPIN

and Im uppin

This was a alright piece here i thought....structure was alright, lines were streched out though, kinda threw off the flow, try keeping them around the same length and a little shorter...but vocab in this was good...overall a alright piece...keep at it.

the flow was hurtin a little in areas but the content was dope. You got alot out in this and put it well in context. I iked this piece it showed alot of skill-1

that was ight ya lines i also felt they were stretched

this was a nice piece homie, i could feel this shit for real, the lines were a bit stretched but overall that shit was ill.


oh yeah, and i could relate, i got a two year old daughter, keep ya head up homeboy and be a daddy to ya baby
peace