just trying a sshort bar format...let me know what u think


The worlds on my shoulders
And I cant stand the wait
An empty clip in its holster
Triggered something worse than fate
Know escape?he's drowned options
I breathe eyes salty tears
Ropey times I knot them
Strung along by fears
Shaken spears puncture thought
Riddling my fragile head
Countless battles fought
Rivers of hope bled
In stead im barren of futility
A desperado in deserts
Backlashed by humility
Sanded down since birth
Soiled dirt uniquely obscure
Happys days forgotten reign
The black clouds endure
Mundane mothers the pain
Tatooed stains cant be cleansed
And misery trades marks
Invested in hollow friends
My clicked hammer blasts
Deaths grasp fingers coldly shun
In the chamber of secrets
Im a son of a gun
Pull me to seek it and I promise to keep it…

But cowardice isn't willing
To listen to bullets witness a killing..
I still let suffering continue
Till it drains the soul from every last sinew



Replied to;
baron god
Brainsurgeon
And word perfect

uppin u fockas!

definetly an ill peace id like to see you do something with less meaning like just ripping the world but you still ripping it pop stay up.

^could maybe do a collab or sum shit
i'll rip some shit soon...not done it in awhile

that was good for an attempt, you wordplay and flow was great i liked how you stayed on topic so well an put together a good visual, good stuff man pz

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uppin...

i have to agree some nice flow, with some decent word play, i liked it, but whats goin on with the way you set it up......good drop though..........Pc dawg

elaborate^..

upping for the umpteenth time

for fuk sake...

This wasnt bad, short bar style added to your flow really cause you could tell where you paused in the bars, this wasnt a bad effort, some subtle wordplay in there and an abstract-esque kinda take on it, picked up nearer the end in my opinion, again though - more internals and multi's would help your stuff, flow wise, content wise basically everything. Their not essential, but they really add a lot to a piece. Just something for you to work on.

Oompa loompa, nigga!

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W o r d P e r f e c t

Keep droppin you know what to do... don't listen to fools, they scorn the wisdom of your words...

This was a pretty nice piece ... The short bar really adds to flow and makes it more interesting to read ... Nah mean ... But besides that the content was nice ... Flow fell off on one line in the whole piece ... But it was straight ... Keep doin' ur think Fgee ... Peace