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I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale.

This piece was profound, almost like a smooth autumn breeze, both harsh and acute but light and passing at the same time, nice drop, 1luv.

Good piece.

I tend to over analyze things by nature, in this drop I can see things two ways.

First of which, I see GOD leaving these words behind saddend by the lack of initiative among men, to seek out and ask the hard questions. I see a struggle between his willingsness to qeull the anxities of man, then again at the same time a lonleyness of being so informed and in the know. It is he and he only who knows such things, a truely lonely place or person to be...

Next I see someone trying to impress another, either with wit or intellect, but each attempt is useless since the other person is not capable of understanding or just not interested.


A decent peice, it could have been longer, maybe even elevated in complex imagery. Either way I enjoyed reading it.

Keep elevating...

Bounce-dawg-E-dawg

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FUCKA BABYLON BANDIT!!!

interesting.

the narrator comes off, at first, as a self centered individual. but yet, he is so generous. it was intersting to see him say "im on my own intellectual pedestal" , "revel in my genious", "im so generous"(its almost as if he is bragging about being so generous for attention possibly), "i'll share my ego with u," but then give to others...or attempt to anyways...

then the tone changes when u say "but i am insignficant, because u don't care"...now when i look over the poem i read it as an angry, bitter sort of piece. but the resolution in the end makes sense; he will continue what he is doing, and continue to be alone...altho he desperately wants recognition for his superiority....

not sure if i completely blew it one this analysis, but im still stoned so forgive me.

perhaps u could guide me in the right direction, if i am off by a lot.....thx

maybe you could of unintentionaly portarayed some one close to you, or even your self. as bounce doggy, i at first saw a confident person, and then towards the end it seemd like he needed some self esteem. nice drop


aiight


peace

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It seems like you portrayed every emotion in this piece. Its almost beyond words from me. I can't even put into words how I Felt reading this.. but it was good. I agree agree with ^everyone up there...

nice drop, keep 'em comin...

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<center>Fuck it...</center>

This was an odd poem... not that it wasn't good. It was just a bit off center to me. I liked it because of that fact. It wasn't a love poem, a "where has my life gone" peice. It was simple, this is what's happening in a beautifully illustrated picture! You did seem to switch emotions within this... the "insignificant" got me. And this whole thing made me think of the opening scene of "Son In Law" Dunno if you've seen it, but graduation thing just got me. Seemed like this was written from a valadictorian's point of veiw as well the "night before my speach is due and I have to write it all now" type thing. Smell me? Nice drop, peace

i agree with the other post in where the person is at first confident in him/herself and during the end lost that confidence somehow. you almost feel that same emotin as you read it. nice drop.........

Ive written 4 previous responses to this piece Philo.. and to be honest.. I have no clue what Im saying. Therefore have not yet hit the Submit Reply button. But you know what? Thats what I like about your work... it makes me think, not to try and understand the poems as such, but to realise what I feel when I read them.. but they remain a mystery to me.. Hence, I keep thinking.. and I love such thought provocation.

If I were to word associate this piece, it would follow as-
Affirmation/Doubt/Acceptance/Graduation.

I must say though, this work had a real Richard Bach feel to it. One of his works in particular- Illusions.. I have no idea if you are familiar with this book, but its a worthwhile read.

As always, interesting read.. Thanks for excercising my brain
Hitting the Submit Reply button now........................

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thankyou for the replies....
no i have not read 'illusions' or seen 'son in law'... sorry, but if you can make the comparison, great.
First to Bouncedoggy, I really liked that interpretation. It was not what I had meant but it was definately on the same lines. I see here the narrator as the GOD you speak of and interchange these two for his point of view. But it can be looked upon on that level.. thankyou for your thought.

Chasin- think of what you write. Who do you write for? what response do you expect? I often see my work as greater than others see it but of course that's because I am aware of all that i imply in my writing and what inspired it...
look at the first man you see and then who he is after the transition. He is the same man, no smarter or dumber, but he is able to realize that he cannot please the world. That is not genuine. So, to turn away from the pompous, greedy individual that he is, he must do things for himself. Ironic if you ask me.
But yeah I liked what you got out of it, I thank you for your constant interest in my work.

Tourniquet - thankyou for your generous thought - Affirmation/Doubt/Acceptance/Graduation - i like the way you put it there.
Yes i graduated... I stopped writing shit and started writing something that means something.. at least to me... and I decided not to worry about others so much. I am able to write more freely now. The other piece I have on these boards, 'Ignorance', was written after this one, and it is quite different.
So double-O - it was me that i was talking about intentionally.

I really appreciate that you all took time to read it.
thanks
.peace.

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I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale.

up this...

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I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale.

Had a real essence of poetry. You made virtually each line count. 'Compressing' it so as not to over elaborate. Cos to me, it wasn't one of those kind of pieces. And well, when you can say so much with so little...well there is your poetry (er, well kind of).

Okay, i'll stop babbling now. And just say, that simply put. To me, this was about 'the poet'. Or 'a poet'. Whichever way one wants to look at it.

Probably the evolution. From the naievity(sp) of thinking you know so much, and can teach the world. Be blessed to know you. It's more for others than yourself. From getting the girl to impressing certain peers.

Anyway, the evolution is to the wise. He realises he must write for himself (he/she). That he is in the end, relatively so little. And to progress any he must just dig and search. For himself, no one else. Well something like that. You know, he becomes the wise poet. Not necessarily the know it all. But he becomes the 'true poet' as such. Er...get meh?!...

...resp...

Great piece. A million questions that you try and find the answers to, and if something stands in your way, you dig deeper to find the answer to it. Great drop. Everything on it, in my opinion was great. Especially the emotion. Im feelin this one. Great job. Keep it comin. Much respect.