RapVerse.com Community - Amature Lust

11-14-03, 08:21 PM

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

Amature Lust

IP:

Jay R, Word~perfect, MBP

HOOK
Love me, crave my heavenly behavier
Hate Me, Cuz i wont be your savier
I'm just a player, relationships rust
why you think, this is amature Lust

Verse 1

Problems in relationships occur from dawn to dusk
Up and down daily a thermonater of loves trust
Revealing hate with smiles a ghostly image apears
Playen her myself resulting into dark cloudy tears
Don't be ashamed if your not on my brain wave
Just i'm only 16 not ready for marrage babe
Startled ripped open a wound in your heart
This songs a stitching to keep our friendship part
Us bein successful is questionable destined to seperate
We wasnt remarkable your eyes didnt sparkle it was fake
Didn't mean to inflatuate my lust just to fuck I kept trying
Fight horror for my mistakes said sorry to stop the cryin
Practically we didn't have a chance you was a hot target
Wanted to take your virginity so for your puss i started
Revolting thoughts i no but i cant operate on my self
To a player amature girls in bed is a help for our health
Amature lust a playboy down to fool you so u can fuck us
Players scored, you believed therefor you done fucked up

Verse 2

Visible in a girls eyes when she discovers a true player doubtful
WE talk smooth take em out an unzip lending a mouthful
I apoligize for my actions all players are little porn stars
Unfamier to the lady eye we like a romeo leaven heart scars
Unbearable remembrance but a players gotta do summin
I'm worthy of taken v cards im not turnin my back im comfronten
Pleasurable fantasies but a players got a mask wit a hormone
A tone on the phone talkin you into get nude on our throne
I don't flow 22's i'm talkin 10 inches thats how I like to ride
Lie down on the bed and just watch the hips go slip & slide
Provide lines to lie bout how i feel inside thats a typical guy
It's not bad it's fair, lifes a game an hell we playen it fly
Next time you rip the zip an suck the dick an play a skit
Visualize the moment an realize we hit your clit then split
Amature lust a playboy down to fool you so u can fuck us
Players scored, you believed therefor you done fucked up

Verse 3

Striking day by daw on the prwl searching for my next prey
No time to delay wen ya take off your pants ya a dragon slayed
A players out to get you, take your virginity thats how it work
Lifes a bitch an it hurts but thats what happens when you flirt
Caught in solemn for my behavier but lady it isn't a marrage
I asked if you was down to ride you chose the bed for a carrage
Mistaken if you think a players satan an we the ones shaken
Cuz your jsut as guilty actin filthy an flippen cuz the v's taken
Halusinaten if you think a guy is fo'real when he say forever
Cuz you an together is nasty weather sex is the only treasure
It's the prize to be won scandalous aint it but it aint fake
Maten is a fabulus thing when ye feelings aint at stake
To a player that dont matter you say yes then you on a platter
Served cock hop on the yot fuck ye puss until it hot then scatter
Don't take us as assholes we just stickin to our religion
When you least aspect it thats when a players given
Take this story as a given to a woman on her knees frantic
Don't get your hair all static it's normal dun attempt to panic
Amature lust a playboy down to fool you so u can fuck us
Players scored, you believed therefor you done fucked up

never done this before thought it would be a neat thing...hopen to get some props pz

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

11-14-03, 08:48 PM

~RaPiDfIrE~

Light Weight

Posts: 349

From: E-Dub

IP:

yea this was pretty coo...not GREAT but some parts were real nice and I wish I could quote on my stupid ass comp but I can't....for the most part each verse was pretty simple but got the point accross...but in each verse there was about 4 lines that stood out to me..ur vocab was very good for a track like this...and your flow was on point mostly....u could've worked on a few things like not saying the word "player" that much...afterall most people that have to identify themself as a player usually isn't...a true player keeps a secret identity

lol

peace

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<center> I.J.L</center>

11-14-03, 09:46 PM

Accelerate

Straight Savage.

Posts: 3,579

From: Bronx

IP:

Rule..you always reply to my shit, but I never see what you have.
This definately impressed me, though it wasn't outstanding, you proved that your worth emceeing. Your flow for the most part was on point, and vocab gave this piece very interesting shit. Good motherfucking drop fam.

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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

11-14-03, 10:13 PM

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

thanks skidds...uppen

11-15-03, 12:12 AM

Sublime D

Omnipresent

Posts: 619

From: The Love B-Lo

IP:

rule..you're classic man...all time classic...you got that professional feeling to your shit, a lotta peeps come on here weak wit some poorly organized and presented rhymes...(ive done it myself) but ur not raw...u have polish, finese, good vocab is expected, good wordplay is expected, u a veteran...ur what peole work towards becoming..nice drop, nice body of works...and yo xcheck out words u can feel by sublime d, but really, really check out now or nuthin by sublime d...its really gettin slept on...maybe because its long.......one love...keep spittin

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Sublime
Worthy of awe and praise
Respect

"..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."

<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>

<imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>

11-15-03, 12:15 AM

Sublime D

Omnipresent

Posts: 619

From: The Love B-Lo

IP:

yo i jus finished readint hat..i was in the middle above...thsi si hto shit, u gotta record this, u gotta do somethin, its a n old topic, but u hit it hard, u kilt that shit..........fav drop of these week so far.....one

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Sublime
Worthy of awe and praise
Respect

<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>

<imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>

11-15-03, 12:50 AM

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

thanks i'l peep ye stuff in'a min pz

11-15-03, 01:50 PM

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

uppen

11-15-03, 05:27 PM

Topic

I Used To Pray

Posts: 362

From: south america

IP:

ur a dusche bag ^^^^ nice reply dusche bag
i liked this peice good vocab good rhyme structure, was this a collab? anyways good work, 1 thing u need to work on is multis, good work fam

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Corrupted Visions

11-15-03, 06:01 PM

#10

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

no just a song style i havent done before that i attempted thanks for the feed ye that envy kids a cunt thansk for the reply man pz

11-15-03, 08:57 PM

#11

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

uppen for some feedback please thanks

11-16-03, 04:39 AM

#12

SinfiC

Flyweight

Posts: 114

From: Reppin tha Northern Lights!

IP:

Rule, this shit was hot yo, couldn't pick out anything I could say about this, it was fluently ill....espeshally being 16 too....I really like your format of writing, it was well written..keep lacin them tracks man, n your gonna make it....
E Z

11-16-03, 06:20 PM

#13

rule

..Soft Focus..

Posts: 1,639

From: Ont.

IP:

thanks uppen

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