This is something I recently wrote and it is the one that means everything to me. Out of all of the poems that I have written, this is the one that TRUELY came from my heart. I would very much appreciate feedback. This one had to be posted because of my 3 babys that left me. One in particular...Josh. Thank you for all of your support. From tha heart....


The wind blows softly as the storm slowly comes in…
It grows darker and faintly cooler…
As lightning flickers in the clouds, the wind accelerates…
The clouds come in quicker…
Being able to watch them roll in ever so quickly…

A calm feeling overcomes me as the storm starts…
Drops of rain fall from the magnificently painted clouds…
As if you were living in an oil painting…
All of the colors mixed together…
As if rain had touched them already…

Lightning generously lights up the sky…
And thunder accumulates afterwards…
As if it were an uncontrollable force…
The sound of the thunder relaxes me fully…
Allowing me to forget the everyday worries and remember…

Remembering good times I’ve had…
With the ones I love…
Laughs and tears…
Love, life, and then the thing that took you away…
Death…

I remember the day I found you…
And the day we layed you down to rest…
That one rainy day…
As if the angels were even crying because you were leaving earth…
The endless nights I’ve had, the endless tears…

I remember staying up crying…
Not being able to get close to anyone…
I loved you so and you died…
My baby boi left us all…
He was taken from us too early…

The anniversary of the day you died grows nearer…
I think of you and how much I wish you were here…
To hear your voice and feel your touch…
Just one last kiss, one last hug…
One last memory…

Rain is my tears…
Continuously falling and no way to stop…
Thunder is my cries I have…
Screaming because of pain…
All because my baby boi was taken too soon…

My cries grow louder as the pain grows larger…
Mental breakage becomes me as everything shatters around me…
My hopes, dreams, and all feelings of joy…
I’m so alone in the darkness…
Surrounded by darkness and tears…

A long storm, neverending…
The pain of you being gone is the same…
I cry myself to the point of exhaustion…
The sound of the storm calms me once again…
As I fall into a deep sleep filled with memories…

Good and bad, happy and sad…
Warming to see you once again in my dreams…
To see that cheezy smile and dorky laugh…
The one we all know so well…

The team misses you, especially me…
Anyone who knew you, knew you were pure…
As if you were an angel on earth…

Maybe that is why you lead me to him…
Wizard, you were my baby boi and I love you…
We all do and always will.



This is dedicated to “The Baby Boi” of our group. To Wizard aka: Josh. May he R.I.P. We all love you JRB and always will.

Damn ma.. a lot of emotion in this poem.. every word in it was filled with how much you cared about him.. amazing piece. Truely your best. Long, but well-worth the read. I mean.. the vocabularly you used was beyond ill.. and then everything you wrote was like.. dripping.. with emotion. Seriously this was your best.. love ya girl. MaDD RespecT.

__________________
<center>Fuck it...</center>

that's damn good.....even tho I usually hate poems without rhymeschemes you killed this....I'm not gonna disrespect it by criticising it though...I thought it was dope tho

__________________
<center> I.J.L</center>

emotion was off the hook
right in hand with the imagery

you made me feel like I was in those shoes
this is a real powerful piece
all the emotion is sincere here, it's obvious

i know how it feels to lose a loved one
memories makes the healing more effective
hold on to those and it'll be easier
keep your head up hun
nice piece

__________________
~.:Soft Focus:.~
{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
{-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-}
{--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--}
{-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-}
{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."

This was some deep shit. It was all felt in the heart and brought back memories of everything, and now how i'm sitting here still alive after all that has happened. Keep your head up. utmost respect JT

Wow...wow...wow..., I need to gather myself after reading this, it touched me, emotions were blazing, heartache was felt, but you never injected anger which I thinks was amazing. Being able to express emoiton wihtout anger is one hell of a talent, I could not pull it off. There is nothing to critic here, since this a drop from the heart, no matter what you wrote it is pure and raw. I see no need for a critic but just acknoledgement on how you made the reader feel your pain and sorrow. Not in a whoa is me type vibe but a beuatiful expression of hurt, anguish and admiration as well. A very amazing drop, we all could feel your love and pain, but most off all the respect you wove into this peice. It's not an easy accomplishment or one we wish to asprie for, but tragidy has a way of unleashing that poetic beast in us all. Thank you for posting this, as I am sure so many will appreicate it for what it is and not reduce it with needless technical critics. Mija you are an amazing person with talent to match, keep focused and apply yourself, I am confident you will suceed at what ever pursiut you take in life.

God bless you and good luck always

~Bounce~

My deepest condolences on your loss.

__________________
FUCKA BABYLON BANDIT!!!

Thank you all. Ayngel, you always pull through and you kno wut im goin through. Like you said, poetic twins. Rapid, thank you for the feedback. Its iight if you critisize it, thats part of posting it. Lady, thanks for the feed and advice, I'm keepin those memories, and they keep them alive in me. JT, thanks baby. I love you and I dont think I would be able to go through this without you by my side. Bounce, I can always count on you for feedback that lifts my spirits. Thank you all for the feedback. This means a lot to me seeing this came straight from my heart. Thank you all, rb keeps me up. Upmost respect to u all.

^uppin for more opinions. It may be long, but please dont sleep on it. Thanks.

^anyone wanna up this for me?.....



^^^uppin...

^^^uppin once again for more feed. come on ppl pleeze

*gazez with mouth open*

DAAAAAAMN

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS INSANE!

One of the best ones i have ever read no doubt. Shit this is awesome. Good emotion, structure, flow, vocab wordplay, AWESOME! Dam u hit the spot on this. Nice expression in ure words and lines i loved it.

Overall Grade:

10/10

I RARELY GIVE THAT ONE OUT MUCH LOVE

Thank you for the feedback Prophiit. It is greatly appreciated. Your shit is tyte. I'm glad that you liked it. This is something that came from my heart. I'm working on another one, but I'm not sure how it will turn out yet. Thank you for the grade. Much love and respect hun.

^^uppin in memory of my baby boi. Todays the 3 month anni. Thanks for all the replies. This one's for him.