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Old 11-23-03, 01:37 PM   #1
Verse112
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From: Minnesota
A verse from Verse

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A dark shadow emerges over the blackness of the land/
unstoppable power surges through the glock in his hand/
just earning stripes, taking lifes, you wouldn't understand/
he just needs some protection think this is the life he planned/
naw mabye planned obselecency as he screams quit testing me/
says his prayers to elevate to a higher degree so his soul can blessed be/
trying to rise above violence but its not part of the recipe/
so out of rage and defiance he prays now to the life of the street/
he's just a young man growing up dazed and confused/
with a fucked stance on life cause his soul has been abused/
he screams i don't give a fuck they ain't got the power to take me/
as he bows his head and speaks the scripture of the 9 milli/
you shine brightly and protect me, keep me safe from my foes/
you make it so no man disrespects me and stays on his toes/
your always by my side personified to you i now pray/
be ever vigilant and carry me through to my next day/
In your name i pray as i blast the next man/
I feel the warth you bring you are my king Amen/
He trys not to sin but you don't know what it's like/
when theres no way to win cause your ass can't even fight/
growing up in condition like this we know it ain't right/
and we can't do shit for em so they lead with there own light/
its just another murder gang killings ain't nothing new/
probably shot him cause he sportin in red, they only sport light blue/
you believe all the shit the ghetto goes through/
yet lives day 2 day life like this is how they do/
y'all act like i ain't got nothing to say how can this be?/
I've been trained in the way of the unstoppable MC/
when you listen to twist, mos, Nas, and kweli/
that teach society with elevated mind and vocabulary/
MC like these be killing em and thrilling em still/
plz recognize open your ears not your eyes and you'll find that i'm ill/

-Verse-
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Old 11-23-03, 01:46 PM   #2
TAG
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Nice verse Verse. lol. I was feelin it altho I doubt your from the hood. Your prolly some whiteboy at a religious school. haha I'm jus playin. I like the lyrics. Good structure and flow. Try flowin about your life style, instead of a gangstas all the time. I think it would be deeper. No hate, jus an opinion. Peace
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Old 11-23-03, 01:50 PM   #3
WORD~PERFECT
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yo tag got a good point this was real good work you utilized all your elements well in unison.stay up and do your thing
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Old 12-02-03, 02:16 AM   #4
Explict
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yea dawg i was feelin your verse.. nice creativity and imagry.. keep up the good work..8/10
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Old 12-02-03, 02:05 PM   #5
Menik
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You forgot to leave 3 links or 3 names of peoples you left feedback too or this will get deleted...

But yeah i agree this was a good piece....it made a good read i thought...Your structure was pretty good in this, a few lines were a little long but nothing big.....vocab in this was good i thought as well...flow was pretty nice....overall this was a pretty good piece..keep at it.
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Old 12-02-03, 04:28 PM   #6
Maven
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Quote:
Originally posted by Masta C
You forgot to leave 3 links or 3 names of peoples you left feedback too or this will get deleted...


word. you need to reply to three open mics and post links to your replies in this thread, or it gets deleted.
thanks.
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she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis
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